Nicole's nickel

Movin' to Montana..euhh! euhh! (Sung to Will smith's song welcome to Miami)

2010-03-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

It's officially March, we are officially moving and I am officially giving up on all things technical. I am not sure the last time I blogged but its been a long time. I can't believe how an additon of one little lovey to the group can change your dynamics and schedule. There is simply not enough time, so something has to give. Her feedings are much shorter now, so I rarely get on FB, except when I am procrastinating something, which of course I am trying not to do because there isn't enough time.

I had been praying about that procrastination problem for a while, so guess how the Lord is helping me? I am selling my house and having to keep it clean...WOW! I hope some of these habits stick. Though I do love how clean the house is, it really is a pain. When your four year old says, "I want to have a dirty house," you know I speak the truth of how stressing it is for everyone. Steven is a builder, and loves to leave his projects out that he is building, so constructing and demolition should not happen on the same day for that sweet soul, its tough on everyone. Andrew is a perpetual mess bomb, from getting dressed(you should see the bedroom when he is finished, I wonder why the shirt he always chooses is the one that's on the bottom.), breakfast time (in his hair, the floor, the chair, the table and hopefully the majority makes it to his mouth, though you wouldn't guess that by looking at the aftermath), then play time (storage bins of toys...'nuff said). Andrew's loudest complaint is, "I can't do this all by myself," which really means, I need help, this mess I have made frightens me! Which this is whqat i scream inside, so I can relate!

Our six month old, Monique or Momo as she is called, is a true delight. She had a rough week of a cold but she pulled through and is back to her, stoic, even tempered self. She is a wonderful baby and we are blessed by her presence. Steven and Andrew are little gems too and have to be the best big brothers around. I love what God does, I love how he challenges my family and brings us through better on the other side. That is what Jesus does.

For now, Justin is working for a company in Montana from Texas, who thought that was a real life scenerio? Our home is on the market (http://www.220bottlebrushdrive.com/) and we wait on the Lord to prepare the way. Our hearts are being readied for this new assignment, as we seek him more peace enters and some of the fear moves out. The most important thing we are trying to do is not to stop living and get lost in the 'wait'. The wait can throw you into idleness and then disaster. It's important to still 'live' here, and so we press on, which some days it's difficult.

We will miss so many things about Texas. I was told before moving here it was a love it or hate it state, s I guess we are on the love it side. It's funny to me that the place I wanted to be the least, is now the place I will miss the most. I pray that our hope and strength in the Lord will rise as we wait upon the Lord to prepare the way.

Looking up or looking down?

2009-11-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

I find when my eyes are directed up towards heaven bound all is clear. When I am looking down and all around I feel dazed and confused and slightly worse is when you are only looking at yourself. That is a hard pill to swallow when you realize your eyes are only on yourself, depression can do that when you take your armour off. What a fight the last month of pregnancy was for me. Shuting every door to everyone, even God and then asking God to speak as if I were listening. So selfish, so not where I wanted to be. More refreshing was to know my husband was holding on tight to Jesus and calling to him, interceding on my behalf. That is beautiful now that I am feeling better. I am thankful for Justin, so thankful to have him to walk this life through.

I had someone speak something very ugly, very horrible to me. I had a choice to follow my flesh or follow Jesus. Speaking about turning the other cheek and turning the other cheek are two different things. If you thought you turned your cheek and then told everyone you know about how bad you were wronged, I believe you didnt turn the other cheek. I had committed at that moment to do as Jesus commands us to do and don't think even for a minute it was easy. At every encounter that day and the next few, I wanted to get a poor me tap but instead I prayed and asked for strength.

After some prayer and washing in god's word, I realized something, the words that were so wounding, were not far from the truth and I needed to see that and hear it. I need to make a change, pick up and get on with life, I am ineffective if I stay in this mess of depression and this season passed time for a change. Please be in prayer for me as I await the king's orders. Love you.

2 months have flown by!

2009-11-04T09:54:00.000-08:00

Monique is 2 months old, can you believe it? We can't. We are so thankful for the help we have had. Justin's mom, Jean was just here for 4 weeks. So I am attempting to fly solo now, for the first time. I don't have time to write, I just wanted to post some pictures. Hope you all are doing well. We love you and are looking forward to your Christmas cards and letters and pictures!! I may even send one:) No promises though. Lots of love, Nicole

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2009-10-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well truth be told, we would have been happy girl or boy. Justin kept saying how nice it would be to have a girl and look at what special gift God gave him on his birthday!!

Introducting Monique Elizabeth Konotopka 8lbs 14 oz and 22 inches long!

Look Daddy and Monique have the same hairline.

I had lots of amniotic fluid so she was able to swim lots, start labor then stop it then not come after hours dilated to an 8! She did come though and we are so glad she did, feeling so good to have her here and praising God for our healthy addition!

We are going to be out of the loop for two weeks to spend sometime just us, building immune systems, resting and adjusting. We are glad to share our news with everyone and look forward to introducing you soon!!

It's a wonderful life....

2009-08-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

I have no camera..but a new one is on the way. Here are the guys in their summer haircuts. I felt the same way I did when I came home from the Coast Guard Academy and Justin had died his hair white and had the goat tee. I so wish I had a picture to post. You can also see the snazzy new curtains in the background. We finally saved enough to buy some curtains, what I learned was I should have saved longer for the rods. They are ridiculously expensive.

Steven and his amazing pee stories, I am not adding or exaggerating in any way. These are all true accounts of our 4 year old.

2:00 am House is sound asleep. "Hi guys!" Steven bops into our room, sounds as if he's been up for hours. "Son, what are you doing?" I ask. "I just have to potty." We hear the sound of liquid being poured onto the carpet, I sit up in bed and can see from the hallway light, Steven is peeing in our doorway. Then Steven says, "Goodnite, I can't find the flusher." I follow him to his room and he gets in bed and is out cold. Justin and I laugh ourselves sick as we are toweling up pee. Carpet needed cleaning anyway!

The boys were watching a instant play on Netflix on the computer(my babysitter when I am trying to get all I have procrastinated done), I come in and his pants are around his ankles and he is sitting in the chair watching the video. "Son, why are your shorts down?" "Nothing," he says and then Andrew chimes in, "I do, Steven peed in the trash can." After the conversation of we don't pee in trash cans, I learned he didn't want to miss his video. Hmmm maybe it's time to teach them about the pause button.

Steven is in the bathroom in the morning. This thunderous giggle is errupting from the bathroom, I say, "what's the matter?" He says, "My butt just burped and I peed on the wall. I am so sorry the pee went everywhere." Never in my life have I cleaned bathrooms so much. Now that both boys are standing they get wiped up at least daily, most days more often. The good is that I never worry(to much) if the bathroom is too gross if someone stops by.

I am sorting baby clothes and notice Andrew trying to carry the kiddie potty out of the bathroom. I ask, "Son, why do you have the potty." He replies, "steven needs to go potty and I am taking it to him." "You can tell Steven mommy says, to go potty in the bathroom." Okay he definatley needs to know about the pause button.

And now for Andrew, he is pretty excited to be a big brother like Steven and not be the baby anymore.

Andrew has been waking up and every morning he sits on my lap to tell me his dream(which is a made up story of some kind, maybe a dream, probably not). He whispers, "I had a nightmare" and begins with the story. They usually have a ghost in them and then some how at the end they end up all rosie and eating ice cream. Good morning entertainment.

Andrew came and ask me to pray for him because his soldiers(shoulders) were hurting. His father had been working shoulders just the day before and complaining about soreness...I hope it isn't something that you can catch:)

We are at the grocery store and using the restroom. They have the foam soap and Andrew is barely tall enough to reach it by himself and of course he is BIG now and wants to do it himself. He pushes the button and it squirts him in the face, giving him the perfect mustache. The three of us are laughing so hard, we can barely contain ourselves. So I try to help thinking, I have his hand in the right spot and bam! it happens again, though not as strategically placed as the first time, but still just as funny. What a great day at the store, laughing can make the day so much more memorable!

Andrew nearly always refers to the new baby as a girl. It's always she and her when he talking about the baby. He had big plans for what she will be learning when she arrives. He really thinks changing diapers is going to be something great, I sure hope he's good at it, that would be awesome..LOL

Andrew keeps saying he thinks he needs to go to the doctor. "Why do you think you need to go to the doctor son?" I ask. "My eyes keep doing this," as he crosses his eyes and looks very crazy( I so need to insert a picture here) We are getting a new camera then I promise to be better about posting photos!

Kids are great, all kids. I have always thought so. I never thought I would be a mother, always thought I would be that cool Aunt without kids that everyone loves to visit. You spoil the kids rotten and leave. I am so glad God had a different plan for me. God blesses us with children, and without them I can see some of the largest blessings I would have missed. The joy they bring as they make us laugh, the love we feel at unpromted hugs and kisses, the way they make us want to strive to be better because they are always watching and learning, but the coolest thing for me is how I can relate to God better because of this role he has placed me in called parenting. The way He loves me, the way the Word speaks to me and provides insight that I could have never known without being a parent.

Tonight we were talking about some scripture in Matthew and in Psalms and it all makes complete sense to me as I think about it from a parenting perspective. Thank you Father for that gift! I want God to show me how to raise my boys His way, through His word so that they may live upright, righteous lives and bring HIM glory.

Wedgies..a little discomfort in this charmed life

2009-08-20T04:52:00.000-07:00

So I have wedgie, it's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to write about, think about and share with you. It all began in May. The feelings that came were un expected. The overwhelming sadness and waves of dispair, tough to fight daily. My husband poured prayer and encouragement, as well as some close friends and I cried out for the Lord to take it away but instead He walked with me through it. For what purpose am I struggling this way? Where was I going before this happend because I feel like I have been in a holding pattern for months?

I find myself asking this question a lot lately. Where am I going? Sometimes you feel like you are heading in the right direction and all of the sudden you are wondering, where am I? Ever feel like that? I have spent 10 days now waiting for a baby, I was convinced it would be here by August 20th, or at least 5 days before(both boys came 5 days before their due dates), but as I type on Aug 20, still no baby. I am so thankful my mom has been here for the past few weeks. I couldn't go on much longer in my previous state. I have had time to reflect, love on the boys(Justin too) and just have my mom love on me.

I have been in a hold pattern. First with the depression I experienced this pregnancy, I have never had the extreme sadness I felt during this last trimester before. Thank you to my precious husband who encouraged me everyday, prayed over me, and never once said get over this, even when I just wanted him too. Thank you for my friends who prayed over me, Christine who taped scriptures to all my windows to encourage me, my neighbor Rose for always checking in on us and helping me to tidy the house. It is so humbling, so hard for me and try as I may I am counting on Grace to get me through this.

God has reminded me once again, things run on His time, baby will come when it's ready. Satan likes to take oppurtunities when things aren't running on our time to plant seeds of doubt and worry, so we must work harder to trust Jesus. Well meaning family and friends push science and medical advice on you, thinking they are helping all while hitting you upside the head with Satan. You have to work harder to trust Jesus. Not always the easiest, though you want it to be. He whispers lies of judgement in your ear and so you have to recognize those for what they are, LIES and recommit to Jesus.

I want this wedgie out! It's uncomfortable and might leave a stain but hopefully that stain will remind me of yet another time the Lord has brought me through some tough stuff.

To forgive or not to forgive that is the question..

2009-06-04T12:24:00.000-07:00

I have spent months thinking about forgiveness and God has given me such a sweet understanding, I wanted to write it down and share, I am sure I can't do it justice with words, as I am much better with numbers:)

Forgiveness comes hard for some people in your life and easy for others, I have been praying about that now for about 9 months. I think the big factor there is relationship and communication, when you know where someone is, the struggles, hardships, where they came from, the more of a relationship you have the easier it is to forgive, at least for me. Don't you think that is why Jesus can still love us even though we do some really awful things? He knows everything about us, he understands where we came from, why we chose to make the choice we did and He sees where we are going. All that being said, I also find it mind blowing that he loves us, especially knowing that you are going to make a lot of mistakes and bad choices....newsflash it's written in the Bible that all will fall short of the glory of God but thank God for Jesus. Christ is your mediator, the one who paid the price for you, the one that wants you to pursue him back, the one that keeps putting that loving person in your path that you think is wacko because they love Jesus so much. I used to know some of those wackos too, and now I have become one:)

Forgiveness can lead you to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. I hope if you are having difficulties forgiving someone, you will quickly use the biblical conflict resolution model(Matt 18: 15-17) and allow Jesus to work through you. Even small things are best dealt with right away before they can take root and bind you in bitterness, pain and even hatred. It's okay to let someone know they hurt you. Sometimes when I get stuck I think about times I have been forgiven and how I was treated and my heart softens to think that I was forgiven. Sometimes things you are forgiving are TOUGH, and you will have to recommit daily, even hourly but forgiveness is for you not them. Forgiveness won't change the other person but it will change your life, bringing you more happiness, peace and healing from the bondage that comes with holding a grudge.

If I have learned anything at all, not forgiving is more work than forgiving. How many times should we forgive someone who won't change? The bible is VERY clear..check out the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matt 18: 21-35. I hope if you have someone to forgive you will pray and find away to forgive them, forgiveness looks best on everyone. Loves to all!

Steven is four!

2009-05-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

WOW, it seems like it was just yesterday when I was living in the unfinished basement dreaming of the finished house and the start of our family with a child. Here he is another year older. He is a quick witted guy, and most of the time, Justin and I are out smarted before the battle begins. He is courageous and kind and serious. One of our friends uses the word stoic to describe him but he doesn't seem to be void of emotion when he dislikes some thing.

His birthday day was an entire day for Steven. He planned his menus for his birthday meals and all he wanted to do was watch TV so he watched Thomas, Thomas and more Thomas. Then he rode his Thomas bike and helped prepare the house for his birthday dinner of queso, and quesadillas. We decorated cups, blew up balloons, invited Big Frank and our neighbor Rose over to join us.

Steven and Andrew had 3 gifts unwrapped before anyone even knew what was happening. We hadn't even started the party but the party had begun. He was elated to get a baseball bat, glove and ball. We have had lots of fun in our backyard playing with them already. We are now saving for the broken window fund, if you would like to make a contribution..LOL

He was as excited , you could tell he really enjoyed opening his presents and having the attention. Here are some of the birthday party photos and cute Steven stories.

He loves singing and sings all the time. When something comes on the radio and it happens to be his favorite, the grin and the jammin' that commences is fun to watch. He loves HAPPY by Aiesha Woods but has moved onto one of the new VBS songs for his favorite, 'I get down but he lifts me up.' is often heard in the car, the shower and while playing cars.

Photo to the left is after Steven's 1K. His reward was a chocolate donut. I think he and Kobe enjoyed the refreshments the most.

If you ever get the treat of having Steven being tickled deeply by something in your presence, you will no doubt feel joy as he lets loose his belly laugh. When it happens it's all Justin and I can talk about for days because it's so great!

I have been having painters come and give us estimates on painting the interior of the house, with both of us working full time, it's not a project either of us wants to handle. Well, one of the painters I thought was great so I wanted to talk to Justin about it and I excused myself from the table to call Justin at work, mean while Steven climbs up in my chair and begins telling the man the resurrection story(unannounced to me) and as I am coming back to the table he says, "wait a minute mom, I am not done, Then Mary was bringing back the spices to put on his body and when the angel rolled the rock away he wasn't there. Jesus is alive for you and me! That's great!" He gets down and goes and plays, I am so pathetically evangelical I say, did you just get a bible lesson and he says "yes, I believe I did." I told Justin I needed another chance to talk to that guy because I had done such a poor job initially so we need to hire him.
Mr. No nap passes out after an afternoon of bike jumping:)

He learned to ride a balance bike this year and about 4 weeks ago I thought he was ready for a bike with pedals and no training wheels. We posted on Craigslist for a Thomas bike as that was the motivator to even get him to ride the balance bike and we received a response to our ad. We brought the bike home and after 3 push starts from dad, he was off and riding. The scary thing is the whole wide world just got a bit smaller:) Wish I was smart enough to download video. We have some great footage of him.

This is after nearly a month unscathed...then he gets a good face scrape when he has a wipe out, trying to jump(hop) the curb.

I am going to end this post with a prayer for Steven. Lord, I thank you so much for Steven. I thank you for the way you use him to make Justin and I better parents. Father, I ask that you would let his heart be courageous for you and that his life will be lived honoring you. I thank you for his heart, the depth of his understanding and care for others. Please help us to guide him in your ways, let him come to love you and commit his life to you at an early age Father. I lift of the special lady you have chosen for him, I pray that she is being raised to love and serve you father. I thank you for your mercy and grace. Thank you for Jesus, it is in his name I pray. AMEN.

Burnt Bacon

2009-05-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

So Wednesday, I am making a BLT salad for CBS brunch and I over cook the bacon. I wouldn't eat it,in fact it's burnt by my standard. My kids however who rarely eat the stuff are snarffing the charred nasty down. The next round of bacon comes out and it's perfect and Steven says 'mmm this is good mommy.' I need the remaining 'perfect' bacon for the salad so I have to cut them off after a piece each. I muse as they decide to go ahead and have another piece of the burnt stuff but they never quite finish it as they had the burnt piece before.

Kind of how my life is sometimes. God gives me a good wash in the word, reveals some sin in my life, I didn't even know I had. It is like that burnt bacon, if it's the only thing you know, it's good to you, you've even acquired a taste for it that way, but then God shows you how life is meant to be and gives you a taste of the 'perfect' batch and you realize how wrong you have lived. Maybe some old habbits creep in and the next thing you know you are eating burnt bacon but this time you realize it for what it is, take it to the cross, repent and move forward in His grace, not wanting to finish the whole piece.

I love God's word, only it can do that. You can have others tell you how badly you are living or how wrong you are all day and it's ugly and makes you feel bad but NEVER, NEVER has the Lord hurt me or offended me as he leads me through some tough things. He loves me and the washing feels like a refreshing, invigorating shower and how beautiful it feels when I am finished. Now if we could just start praying for those struggling and give up our own attitiudes of "I will fix them". Maybe Jesus could radiate and not have such a tainted appearance to those who don't know his love.

Have you been in God's word today? Join a study so you have some accountablity, try one study I dare you! I haven't a doubt you too will be hooked.

Andrew AKA Batman turned 3

2009-05-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

The entire day was devoted to Andrew's special birth day. We had birthday cereal for breakfast, you know the high sugar kind that every kids wants because of the picture on the box, birthday sandwiches at lunch, and I loved it when Steven asked, "did you get any birthday drinks?" Andrew wanted to have spaghetti for supper so we had birthday spaghetti. We had a fun afternoon getting ready to celebrate his special birthday dinner. We blew up balloons, decorated cups, made the cake and just had a wonderful afternoon working together to throw a party. The excitement built all afternoon and when dad got home from work the party started!

I was so moved by Andrews thankfulness the day after his Friday evening family only party. He woke up and said, "Thank you so much for my party, I loved it! I loved my presents too." I wept, which isn't unnatural for me:) His thankfulness filled my heart with so much emotion. As I think about it now, I wonder if that's how our Heavenly Father feels as we pour out genuine heart felt thanks for what he does, he must be moved by that. How important it is to realize where our help comes from, our blessings and our purpose and praise in thanksgiving for them.

Here are some of the birthday photos and some sweet stories of Andrew lately.

We are having the baby at the Family birthing center in New Braunfels and during our first visit there, one of the midwives let Andrew listen to his heartbeat with the stethoscope. She asked him if he could hear it, he shook his head yes and she asked him what it sounded like. He said, "I love Jesus, Jesus died on the cross for me, I love Jesus." She said is that really what it is saying, Andrew replied, "I fink so."

I am not sure why he likes batman so much but he does. Since there hasn't been a Batman movie for awhile t is difficult to find anything batman. The only request he had was party hats but dad couldn't find batman ones or plain ones so he got these...

Andrew 3 Steven 3 :)

When Andrew prays, I love his ending. It's always the same. I need to get it one video before he starts pronouncing it correctly. I am going to type it as best I can but it's not as cute. God bless Daddy, mommy, Steven, Andrew, Grandma Jean, Grandma Monica, GG GG GG and all our ankles and unkies and cousins. In Jesus name. Amen

I want to end this post with a prayer for my sweet son. Lord, thank you for blessing our lives with Andrew. Thank you for the gentleness in his heart. Lord I pray he would come to know you at an early age and they he would live his life to serve you. I lift up the girl you have chosen for Andrew, may she grow up knowing and loving you father. May your name be stamped on their hearts and right below it eachothers. Thank you for loving us, for providing us a way to know you. Thank you for you living word, may Andrew have an appetite for it. Blessed be your name Lord. We love you. In Jesus name, AMEN.

Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go...

2009-02-15T12:16:00.000-08:00

Well I am back at the IRS and of course I enjoy it. It has negatives and positives like every choice we make. We prayed lots about it this year and asked God to lead us down his path, we felt like "no" was the right answer but then Justin's works had some layoffs and a few executives that were kind of a surprise. The same day the execs were released, I got a call asking me to come back earlier so we prayed more and decided I should. I don't want to say to much about my job because it always seems like I have the best jobs, and I really have. I like the independence I have at work, no kids to be tracking and interrupting my conversations. Yeah right, 90% of my conversations are about family,so see they are still interrupting. LOL

My friend at work, Walley or Adewale Adeku and I have sat in front of each other for 2 seasons now. He has a beautiful pregnant wife and a very sweet daughter Elizabeth. 'Nice to see you again', Elizabeth's coined phrase. She turns 3 this month and we are excited to celebrate with her. My other friend Arnold sits across from me, this is our 3rd season together. He has a full time job by day at the state and full time nights at IRS. He is a dedicated deacon at his church and loving family member of his very large extended family. He watches TV while working, well really, he listens to it.

Arnold was watching the Diane Sawyer special on the people of the Appalachian Mountains this past week. He was moved to tears a couple times. Walley shared about being from Nigeria and the what he now knows is propaganda on the TV about America. The country he thought he was coming to and what he has encountered is very different. I was sharing with them about some families that live in South Dakota where I grew up. We have families there without electricity and running water, very impoverished areas too. I am sure this can be said on nearly everywhere in the US but we don't see that advertised anywhere.

We have people here in America without running water, without sewer, without health care, without enough to eat and without Jesus too. We don't have to go to the most remote parts of the world to see these issues. Right here in America they exist. We don't have to go very far to find them, in fact I am certain that it's right here in Austin area. Which leaves me with the big question pleading inside me, What am I doing about it?

so the world is a year older

2009-01-17T19:29:00.000-08:00

We finally got all the Christmas stuff put up last weekend,a few fugitive snowmen somehow didn't find there way back to the boxes though. I think snowmen are okay and can stay up a while longer. I was re-reading Christmas letters and looking at the new photos with the kids. The letters always share events that have me in tears of joy as I read about all the ways God has blessed those we care so deeply for. Thank you for your cards and letters, one of these days the Konotopkas will get one sent out:)

My kids are not kids friendly..well not at Christmas anyway

2008-12-21T11:37:00.000-08:00

Santa or not? That has been our debate for 3 years, we just never did it. We have always moved at Christmas time so haven't decorated in like 5 years. This year we have decorated, we didn't even remember what we have or didn't have. We have lots of Santa paraphenlia, when you teach you get lots of gifts like that at Christmas. Justin didn't put any out, he thought it would be confusing for the kids. My sister gave us a ton of books that had Santa in them and so they have been lloked at a nd read lots. Finally Mr. Inquisitive(Steven) says, "Mom, can reindeer really fly?" I answer honestly, "no son, it just meant to be a fun story." He continues, "Is Santa like Oliva(she is a pig and we find these books hilarious)? " "Yes Santa is made up like someone made up Olivia except Santa's story is modeled after a kind priest..." I go on and finish the story. Steven is satisfied and we go on with the day.

2 days later we are shopping at Kohls. The lady who is checking us out says, "my what good boys you have been standing in line. I bet Santa is going to be good to you this year." Steven looks at her, frowing his brow, making the usual Steven face and says, "There is no Santa." She continues, "oh yes there is, don't you believe in Santa?" "You're a liar, if you don't tell the truth then you are a liar and there is no Santa, right mommy" steven continues. It all happend so fast my head was spinning. I just smiled and said, "we celebrate Jesus's birthday at Christmas. Have a blessed season, Liar!" Just kdding I didn't say liar. I was embarrassed at first but it makes me laugh and laugh now.

I love how everything is black and white to kids. The two haven't been muddled up and there is no grey. I think it's the grey that causes us confusion and easily can stray us from God. Staying connected to the black and white of things through God's word, holding those truths and measuring all things by them will keep us close to God, which is where we all long to be(whether we acknowledge or not). The bible isn't black and white on every decision but when you are close to God, and he guides you to where He wants you, and then you're right where you are supposed to be.

In the event you forget, it's ADVENT season!

2008-12-02T20:43:00.000-08:00

And what is it I am listening to? Third day baby! O come, O come Emmanual a beautiful advent rock song, oh err strike that, hymn. I am excited this year to celebrate advent with the kids. We have a felt nativity scene given to us by Chad and Kris Kratovil..Thanks!!! Each day(as if we have done so many) we put up a piece and talk about what significance it has. So day 1: the donkey, of course! Today(day 2) was Mary riding the donkey and sneaky Jesus gets to be in her womb so we talked about him too:) I really need to plan out the rest of the scenes and get a better felt display boad, my pillowcase on the wall is rather lame.

I bought a new picture book to give the kids yesterday and it is about the nativity. We had already read a bunch of books about Christmas and Christmas themes. I was having a great time. Steven unwraps the book and says, "Is this another book about baby Jesus? Mom, Jesus already growed up!" So we waited and read it today:) Steven's comment yesterday made me think, 'wow, at 3 years old, he knows Jesus has walked the earth, Christmas has come so to speak.' It still important to know the King came to us in a lowly manner, he is for everyone and advent literally means 'coming' and we are awaiting Christ's coming, so party up people!

I am excited for Christmas to come this year. For the first time in 5 years: I am excited for the Christmas season, we are going to decorate, I am participating in a cookie swap, and plan on passin' out the homebaked love to neighbors. I am rejoicing in my heart because Christ has called me out of darkness and into his marveouls light! Things are better, brighter and purposeful. I have a place I call home, I never thought I would say that about anywhere but where I grew up, but I feel at home here in Kyle. I have a wonderful, encouraging, handsome spouse, two sweet, compassionate, wild and fun-loving boys, a great group of friends and so many other blessings I do not deserve. I am humbled that God chose me to be apart of his family, me, full of bad thoughts, bad words and lots of other ugliness but he loves me deeply and gives me a robe of righteousness.

Maybe he's calling your heart this Christmas season, prepare Him some room!

You can get God in!

2008-12-02T07:02:00.000-08:00

I was reading that Rev. George M. Docherty has died at 97 this week. He is known for helping to get 'under God' entered into the pledge of alliegence, before 1954 it was not present.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081129/ap_on_re/obit_docherty
How cool is that! Truth be told, I thought it was always in there since the pilgrims proclomation was so very clear that they came here to give God glory. I feel encouraged because change can and does happen. We can have God back in schools but we can't sit back quietly and do nothing, nor must we be jerks about it. When you have had God romance your heart, he does so with such care, so much love and tenderness and the mere thought of his love consumes you with good feelings, I beg to ask who wouldn't want that? Why are we not living in such a way that acknowledges that? This video series is pretty shocking, at least it was for me. My brother sent it and as I watched and prayed, I thought it important to share.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Blog/Default.aspx?id=337488

Aunt Kim is having a baby!

2008-12-02T06:53:00.001-08:00

I have been wanting to post that on my blog for like 8 weeks. Kim is my remarkable friend, who I am sure the boys will deem one of the coolest as her degree is in Paleo and they LOVE dinos. Plus once you get to know her, she is truly one hip chick. I remember saying hi, and saying hi and reading her expression as we passed in the bathroom and it said, "you are one weird girl. I wonder why she is always saying hello to me." I befriended her roommate in a college class, and that is how I finally weaseled my way in:) She was a great confidant to me when I was working and she loves kids as much as I do. She is also a natural teacher and exceptional with kids. So yipee we are excited for you Kim and Jon! We love you guys very much! We are also glad to know you are having a boy, whawhoo the boys will love this!

Be holy, as I am holy......1 Peter 1:16

2008-12-01T20:32:00.000-08:00

Let me start out with I love my husband, but if I had to tell you who my first choice of the "completely never going to happen" boyfriend list is, it's Peter. Yes, Peter from the Bible, so I am weird, like you, didn't already know that.

I am just finishing up with 1st and 2nd Peter 12 week study and it has been an amazing journey. Beautiful promises, big aaaaHA!s and new prescriptions(seeing things more clearly). 2 Peter 1:3 states: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

I remember 3 weeks ago being 'WOWed" by that. I remember talking it over with Justin and sharing this dialog: What? I can't say, "your only human" to my sweet sister in Christ anymore? No more using Romans 3:23 for the perpetual bandaid of missing the mark? I NEVER knew that! I knew I shouldn't feel defeated because Jesus wins, he already came here, over came sin and death and he will come again and his kingdom has NO END. We shouldn't have the defeated mind set at all as we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. Thank you Jesus! SO now what, well what does the bible say ENCOURAGE one another! Love one another! I need to Jesus work on those things in me.

So a few weeks pass, we leave for vacation. I am in God's word at the farm as there are no distractions there. I didn't take my adress book or phone numbers so since I only have like 2 peoples number's memorized and HORRIBLE cell reception I wasn't calling(just an FYI) It was nice. The prayer was great, I had time to journal, to think, to let the Holy Spirit sort it out for me. God is good! I get to see some dear friends in Rapid City, 2 of my friends have daughters 1.5 and 2 and it was so cute to see them play and their excitement to see one another, much like the excitement their moms display when they greet one another. I feel joy as I type that thought. I love those ladies Steph and Jenn. I see Christ in them, he works through them in beautiful ways.

Vacation gets a little busy, God's word is MIA a couple days, then an entire week. I am in shock and stunned by things I notice, see, hear, they flood me, and it's all I can see, hear and the shock turns to depression. I am in a funk. Everywhere I look I see only sin and anguish and darkness and it is taking it's toll on me. I go to church on Sunday and the priest says, "it's not about a personal relationship with Jesus, it's about a relationship with the church that brings you into commune with the Lord." "What is going on ?" I am thining and I look aroud the sanctuary hoping to see one person in as much shock as I am but I don't. I rush home to tell Justin and he says, "yes does that surprise you? That is what they believe." My feathers get ruffled from this response and his delivery and by now my eyes are completely on myself and what I see(I forget, I only see because he has given me new lens) and I don't take any of this to Jesus, there is only dispair and I am having a rough time. I have no way to process and I just see all this terrible stuff all around, and I get so caught up in it that I forget, I know the person who knows all the answers and I am not praying. Then it's late(after midnight) and we are walking to mom's from my sister's(less then a block and accross the street) and there is a man walking behind us about 100 yeards. He is bundled up as it's cold, we can't see his features as it's dark and he is hidden in his coat and hood. He is using this strange voice and saying things like, "I am going to get you, I am going to kill you" and I TOTALLY loose it inside! I can't get inside my mom's fast enough, I can't get the door locked or even shut and Justin has to help me. He can tell now that I am scared and freaked out. He couldn't make out anything the man was saying, only that he had a weird voice and he was completely unbothered by the whole incidence and I was terrified. As I am lying in bed, I realize that I hadn't even thought to pray or acknowledge that Jesus was there with me. This isn't my usual response, I am usually the calm, prayerful person and Jesus is more to the top of the list of my thoughts, words and I never would have guessed I would be writing this type of story, not after all the promises God has given me.

This morning I am studying and recalling events of the trip, I am confessing my transgressions, my innappropriate actions and responses, but mostly my doubting of my Savior. I finish up praying and go back to reading and this is my scripture: Hebrews 10:35-39:So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

Surround yourselves with others who will encourage you Biblically correct, not politically correct ways. I loved visiting but it's good to be home.

Playing for the opposing team

2008-10-23T20:34:00.001-07:00

It was junior high, we were playing another small town and I threw the ball in bounds. Our goal was at the other end of the court and nearly all players from both teams were heading that way. For some reason the other guard I threw the ball to thought, "alright I am wide open," shot the two footer, un-tended goal and SCORED! but it was 2 points for the other team.

Have you ever done that? Worked for the other team Satan without even knowing it or worse yet knowing it. Are we doing that now? I am. I am sure there are so many of the areas of my life that are wrong, not Christ centered and each one will bring me to my knees as he reveals them. I am trying to justify our participation in Halloween and the first clue it's wrong is the justifing part. Clearly the origins of Halloween are from evil, sugar coat it with all the candy you want, it is not a holiday that celebrated Christ and was turned evil. As a member of the body of Christ, I want so badly to eat my cake and have it too BUT it's not possible. I love creativity, I love making costumes, I love make believe. I love my friends who are having the Halloween party and for those reasons I want to celebrate a holiday that allows all of those creative outlets for me but am I desesitizing my kids to evil? Am I just like everyone else saying, it's okay, we don't believe the pagan stuff and subjecting my innocent lambs to pure evil and unhealthy fear?

This happend to me two weeks ago and I wanted to share. We were watching "The Little Mermaid" and there is a part where Ariel falls asleep on the rock and Sabastian pats her head and says, "You are a hopeless child, hopeless." I got sick to my heart, I turned of the tele and spoke to the kids about Jesus. Hopeless is not a word for me or my family, we will never be without hope because we have a savior, Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3-5:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

I shared this at my group at CBS when were talking do you ever feel freakish because of Christ, and honestly my reaction to Ariel freaked my own self out, no telling what it's doing to all of you reading this. I am the freaky girl, the one who continued with, 'how about participating in pagan holidays or homeschooling, I think Christians who do that because they love the Lord definatley feel set a part." After the discussion group ended one of the ladies sat with me and she said, "I won't let them take beautiful things like harvest and sweet costumes and beautiful music and turn it evil. I won't give Satan the satisfaction." Initially I thought, "yeah, I won't either. I am making Halloween costumes but after much prayer, here are some of the thoughts that came.

Halloween has evil roots, it isn't like Christmas and loosing it's meaning through Santa(lies, did you know Santa and Satan share the same letters?) and holiday perfection stress, Halloween was never meant to Glorify God. God doesn't instruct us to try and turn evil into good, ONLY God can use bad for good, infact he clearly tells us to flee, run and get away from evil. Little Mermaid, is it wholesome with beautiful music? hmmm Well, she wishes for something she doesn't have(coveting) she trades her soul..I mean voice to get it and there's still the messages in the music. The music uses words like luck(God's soveriegn, there is no such thing), mood prepared, you want her, she wants you, know just kiss the girl(are my kids old enough to see that?), the ursala song about her admitting she was nasty and repenting yet still she is evil and has evil intent(is this where grace covers all stems from? grace the big bandaid for not letting God's word transform you and doing whatever you want knowing you are forgiven?), wishing I could be part of their world(coveting song) BUT they do counteract that with Under the sea, which is about grass always being greener on the other side.

So though I do love my CBS friend and she is most definately on the Lord's team, she may have shot at the wrong basket, though this time she missed because I feel strong conviction about the whole thing and Little Mermaid is still out! As for Halloween? Well Justin and I are working on seeing eye to eye, outcome still to be announced.

Hospitality...She's the woman!

2008-10-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

This is Jean Konotopka, mother of Tasha and Justin Konotopka, grandmother of Kaitlyn, Jocelyn, Steven and Andrew, wife of the late Timothy Konotopka and my precious Mother in law. I have been studying about the gifts of Spirit and when I got to hospitality the first person into my mind was Jean. God has given her the ability for you to honestly feel like you are in your own home(if you of course like your home) or a great retreat area, where you feel peace, rest and comfort.

I think the Archbishop of Canterbury, Fredrick Donald Coggan says it best: "Hospitality is the art of making people feel at home, when you wish they were." She does that and I admire that quality. So many people return to the Konotopka farm and yearn to return to it because of her hospitality, she makes everyone feel welcome and loved. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was raised by Benedictine monks, they have a practice of receiving all guest as if they were Christ.

I will use what God has shown me both in the Bible and in life to strive to be more hospitable to all. I know I need work desperately in this area, so it's a good thing we are going to SD in less than a month, I can get some more lessons from Jean.

They said No! We won't worship idols...

2008-10-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

This is one of the GREAT songs from Karen and kids, did I mention that they have GREAT songs!!! Check them out!

http://www.karenandkids.com/

I love to hear my kids singing God's truth, not only does it sing right to my soul but my thoughts are continually on God's promises and instruction. I think Karen does a wonderful job of sharing scripture with kids(and adults), she also has a radio program which I looking forward to partaking with my kids when they are a bit older.

Ask Steven to tell you who wouldn't bow down and worship idols? It's fun to hear him say Shadrack, Meshack and Abendego.

A camping we will go, a camping we will go..hiho the

2008-10-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

The camping trip was oh so much fun! I was delighted that the kids entertained themselves so well just hanging out in nature. They REALLY enjoyed throwing rocks in the lake. Steven is still talking about it, now camping and rock throwing are one in the same. Here is Andrew, Steven, Kyle and Isabelle. The Fahs children are VERY obedient, good kids and we are glad they are influencing our boys.
I have to confess that Christine and I left nature to shop...LOL That's right, we were less than a mile from shopping, though we just went to a Christian book store, Target and a grocery store. When you camp in SD or pretty much anywhere I can think of, there isn't a metro shopping complex right outside the campsites, so that was a first, and I did like that.

Stand back! He's all mine girls...Who knows what my fun loving husband was doing but now he is doing it on my blog. I am so proud.

Here is the Fahs family, check out Christine's blog from my links. She and her husband are very passionate for the Lord, they have two children that also love the Lord and a third child we are praying that will also follow in His footsteps. It's neat to be around kids who haven't grown up thinking God is a cosmic vending machine and that you only go there when they you something. These kids are going into their public schools making a stand for Christ, they don't celebrate Halloween and I am sure for 8 and 6 that isn't always the easiest being so different BUT they are learning what it means to live lives set a part.

Jesus tells us to live in the world but not be of the world(John 15:18-26). I don't think I realized what that fully what meant for much of my 'Christian' life and I am not the only Christian who was/is living this way. Statistics tend to back this up. Christians get divorced at the same rate as the rest of the world, they drink the same alcohol, they use the same language, they watch the same tele shows and movies, and share in the same gossip. We are living the same lives as the rest of the world. Are we afraid to be different? Have we bought Satan's lie that it is a bad thing to be different than everyone else? If our answers are yes than Satan has us right where he needs us, effectively working for him because he knows that when Christians live lives set apart they become great witnesses for the cause of Christ. You are the only Bible that some people will ever read and if your words are written the same as theirs then they see no reason to turn to Jesus.

Cheers to you Christine and Frank for raising your children differently and in a way that honors and glorifies the Lord! Cheers to the rest of you that are also trying to make a break from ways of the world, it's not easy but all things are possible with Christ who strengthens you. (Phil 4:13)If we can be praying for you and your family in someway please email us and we would be glad to join you in petitioning the Lord.

Finally of the Konotopka Family....

Girl from the Prairie

2008-10-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

Here we are in Bertram at the Oatmeal festival. We rode the train from Ceder Park to Bertram and back. We went on August 29 with our friends Heike, Lou and Kobe. It was small town fun, like where we grew up. They dropped oatmeal from a plane, so it was like oatmeal snow flakes. It was our first experience in oatmeal snow. Heike took some amazing pictures of buildings and stuff that didn't look cool to me until I saw her photos. Amazing what we can and can't see though looking at the same scenery. Kids enjoyed catching candy at the parade.

This week at CBS(Community Bible Study) we had a brunch instead of opening lecture and worship. The topic was, "how did you grow up and how has it influenced your life?" There are 15 of us and we have about 45 minutes to share. Everyone around the table had grown up in a small town(they were talking 3-5K being small). It was so neat to hear about everyones lives and what they chose to share. I really enjoy the ladies in my group, they are very charming and sweet.

I took some time to think about what to share. I was overwhelmed with memories and what to share. 3 minutes isn't much for a childhood but I gave it my best stab. "I grew up near an Indian Reservation, my mom has taught on that reservation for over 30 years. My hometown was small less than 500 people. My graduating class was 22, 11 boys and 11 girls, we always had a date for all the dances. The best thing that small town living instilled in me was trust and how to trust. We never locked our doors at night, keys stayed in vehicle ignitions, and you could trust that if you were out causing trouble your mom would know it before you got home. (I sound like I am 75 as I write that sentence, but it is so true. I remember Sarah Schmidt teaching me how to drive the Chevy Luv stick shift, I think I was 13.5 and she was 14.5(so she had gotten her permit 6 months earlier). Someone spied us and called her parents before we even got back to her house. Mom and Dad #2 were great, I can't even remember if there was repercussions.) That value of trust is defiantly a transferable skill. I trust God, I know he will work all things for good and I am confident that he does as he promises."

I grew up thinking everyone cared about me. We rode bikes everywhere(in a town of 600 that's like 8 blocks, everywhere might not be the best word). It was 2.1 miles around our town, great distance to run and if you needed to go further you could head out pea lane to gain mileage and new scenery. Ahh the memories flood me and wrap around me like a blanket. I have good memories of life growing up in small town South Dakota and many friends who still live there. Would I move back? Yes, of course, I think it would be great for my kids to have some of the same experiences but I also know they are making their own memories and some day they will have a different, yet just as cozy memory blanket to wrap up with.

I want to share one of my favorite stories is If you're not from the Prairie, and just to let you know I married a boy from the prairie and the pictures in this book are great...

If you're not from the prairie, you don't know the sun, you can't know the sun.

Diamonds that bounce off crisp winter snow

Warm waters in dugouts and lakes that we know

The sun is our friend from when we were young

A child of the prairie is part of the sun

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sun.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the wind, you can't know the wind.

Our cold winds of winter cut right to the core

Hot summer wind devils can blow down the door

As children we know when we play any game

The wind will be there yet we play just the same

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the wind.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sky, you can't know the sky

The bold prairie sky is clear bright and blue

Though sometimes cloud messages give us a clue

Monstrous grey mushrooms can hint of a storm

Or painted pink feathers say good bye to the warm

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sky.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know what's flat, you've never seen flat

When travellers pass through across our great plain

They all view our home they all say the same"It's simple and flat!"

They've not learned to see

The particular beauty that's now part of me

If you're not from the prairie you don't know what's flat.

If you're not from the prairie you've not heard the grass you've never heard grass

In strong summer winds, the grains and grass bend

And sway to a dance that seems never to end

It whispers its secrets - they tell of this land

And the rhythm of life played by nature's own hand

If you're not from the prairie, you've never heard grass.

So you're not from the prairie and yet you know snow you think you know snow?

Blizzards bring danger as legends have told

In deep drifts we roughhouse, ignoring the cold

At times we look out at great seas of white

So bright is the sun that we squeeze our eyes tight

If you're not from the prairie you don't know snow.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know our trees you can't know our trees

The trees that we know have taken so long

To live through our seasons to grow tall and strong

They're loved and they're treasured we watched as they grew

We knew they were special - the prairie has few

If you're not from the prairie you don't know our trees.

Still you're not from the prairie and yet you know cold..you say you've been cold?

Do you know what to do to relieve so much pain

Of burning from deep down that drives you insane?

Your ears and your hands right into your toes

A child who's been cold on the prairie will know

Of all of those memories we share when we're old

None are more clear then that hard bitter cold

You'll not find among us a soul who can say"I've conquered the wind on a cold winter's day"

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the cold you've never been cold.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know me you just can't know ME.

You see, my hair's mostly wind, my eyes filled with grit,

My skin's red or brown and my lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

Ive stared at the cast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all those castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and I cry out loud

If you're not from the prairie you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards, you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor even my heart

Unless deep within you, there's somehow a part

A part of these things that I've said that I know

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow

Best say you have - and then we'll be one

For we will have shared that same blazing sun.

Do as I say, not as I do....

2008-10-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

I think we've all seen and understood that phrase now in adulthood. You don't have to think very hard to find someone who contradicts themselves, in fact I may be my own worst witness. My buddy Peter heeds me that this morning:
1 Peter 3: 8-12 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
"Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

I like that is says seek and pursue, confirming that it won't always be easy and yes, you may even want to be evil but go and get the peace and don't look back, chase the peace. Again I am reminded how important it is to have some balance and that what I say isn't nearly as important as what I do. Words come easy and actions, well they take pursuit!

On a bit of a turn, this morning Andrew called to Justin as he and Frank were leaving, Justin came back in and Andrew says, "Don't forget your gwaffes daddy." "Thanks son, I don't need them this morning, I have my contacts in." "Oh, okay daddy." Can you believe at 2 he observed Justin wasn't wearing glasses? It was mind blowing and I had already been reflecting on the passage above this morning, I think how many times my kids have heard blessings and curses come out of my mouth and that should not be! (James 3:9-10) They observe so much more than I realize, and more and more I realize I dearly am in need of a savior.

We have been 'practice' camping in the back yard the past two nights. It has been fun. Dad had to bail on us last night as the declaration of night noises for an hour was more than he could bare and in his defense, he had to be at work functioning. I awoke before the boys today, which is not the norm. So I slipped in to the warm house, and started my quiet time with God and the sweetest memory unfolded before my eyes. It was just dawn, the sun is up and I hear my sweet boys talking and giggling, then the unZIP of the tent, and I look to see them coming, huge smiles and their headlamps, turned on of course, it was kind of dark. They were beaming with happiness and I melt in the emotion now as I type. Lord, let me remember this morning for forever.

I am so excited about camping this weekend. We are going with some friends, it will be a blast I am certain! On a side note, I never remember hurting from sleeping on the ground, I remember living for the summer to get here so I could backpack and now I am in pain and wondering why can't I remember the pain, so does extra weight make it that much worse? Was I always in pain, some of you have spent many a night camping/packing with me, did it hurt? Crazy!

Here are some new photos(Thanks Tanya Livingston for loaning me the card reader)

Steven and Hank the Amazing flying hamster.

DoodoodooDOOO! Introducing King Andrew!

Life before children.....

2008-09-30T20:41:00.000-07:00

I know my postings get pretty wordy so I am going to try to imput photos, but none are recent as I still after 9 months can't find the camera cord. I have 800 pictures to get off my camera! So here are some very old photos.

Every year before we had kids, we had pumpkin carving contests. I was going to post all of them but Justin felt shamed out by some of them and said this one from 2004, I could show. I of course won EVERY year. Oh the hours of taunting eachother about who was going to win and trying to sneak peaks at what the other was doing. I smile and feel and am filled with warm fuzzies. Good times. As we gear up for our marriage course that begins this weekend, I am excited to just have a scheduled day everyweek to give my full attention to my spouse. It gets difficult to prioritize and keep eachother right at the top under God. Some times those two sweet boys try to trump dad, but I am on to their tricks.

Here is a photo of the front of our house, thank goodness you can't see the garage. It's a good house and you know what the $20 faucet from home dept that is in our sink actually functions. I thought you had to spend at least $550 to do that. Those of you that know about our idol, I mean home know exactly what I am talking about. Thankfully after our last home, I feel like we have learned a few things. Let me share some of the MANY lessons learned:

1) Wholeheartidly consult God first, he may say no and if he does, we advise you listen.

2) If you have a budget, buy everything as under the actual budgeted cost as you can. If your budget is $100 for doors, ask to see all the $60 doors first and NEVER, I repeat NEVER look at $110 doors.

I am using doors as an example but if could be anything on your budget.

3)Don't work full time jobs and have your first baby while trying to learn how to be a plumber. Scratch that, don't try to be every type of building expert needed to build a house (ie: electrician, carpenter, framer) if you are doing any of first things listed previously. Some times the education, ie school of hard knocks, is actually more expensive than having the real deal come and complete it the first time.

4) Cheap light fixtures, cheap faucets and cheap carpet actually do, do the job. Who knew?

Idol in the rough.....This is Oct 2004. This is before we melted all our gold down to make the calf. I am compelled to thank all of the WONDERFUL family and friends who came out and helped us and loved us during this time. And the Thanks be to our heavenly father for delivering us through it, you are to merciful. For some reason I have no photos of the completed calf from the outside. Here is one from the kitchen and it's 9 foot island...
This one is from the loft outside the master bedroom french doors. Can you see those sconces? I am shamelessly going to tell you this, they were $800, hand blown from Italy and shipped over on a blue whale! They hyped up how beatiful the accent lighting would be, in reality the plexiglass ones would have had the same effect, shipping back to italy on a blue whale was too expensive! Oh how sad and wasteful!

Here is Steven when he was 2 days old. AHHHH, his nick name until he was about 14 months was 'Mr skinny guy' and after that he is known around our house as Peeky, but he prefers Steven.

Andrew at 2 days old, Steven 11 months and now ....my shining moment. I had been eating lots of Chinese. LOL

I am procrastinating taking care of some things but the trip down memory lane(old photo files) has been fun!

I propose a change...

2008-09-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Everyone one knows the song..."Go tell it on the mountain..." I believe we should change the words to sing, "Go show it on the mountain." If we don't live our lives to reflect the truths we profess to believe, our words will lack integrity and authenticity. Tricky deal, even when just playing mommy at home. I hope everyone appreciated the 'playing mommy', I am trying to think like Andrew as his way seems more fun. He is always so joyful. He wakes up wanting to 'play school'. I am glad they enjoy home preschool so much it is like play.

Who has done something messy and tactile stimulating with their kids this week? We made homemade noodles for the chicken noodles soup yesterday, that was fun. As I cleaned the dried putty, I mean dough, off the bathroom sink today I was smiling remembering the good time we had. I am noticing that when my kids are engrossed in an activity that is engaging their senses so vigorisly, they are so focused and can verbalize and cognitively reason through things. We did some role playing and I loved how while they worked their minds were processing and you could see them formulating their responses.

"What should you do if someone hits you?" Think. Think. Think. Steven's response: "It's not a good choice to hit Andrew." I try desperately not to laugh, as I muse that Andrew is the only 'someone' who would ever hit him. Andrew says, "It 's not nice to hit." Steven continues, "I would tell it hurts to hit and say sorry and forgive them." I say, "that sounds just like what Jesus says to do! You remember story about the man that wants your shirt, Jesus says give it to him, and," I am interrrupted by Andrew, "don't hit and turn the other cheek!" "That's right Andrew, you remember" and I finish the story. "Okay how about if you go outside and it's dark out, what can you do if you feel scared?" Steven says, "take a flash light." He is so serious, which makes it more fun trying to contain the laugh. "I am scared," Andrew interjects. "Remember Jew(This is how Steven said Andrew at 1, actually it was 'jew-jew')God is bigger and he says, I am with you ALWAYS," Andrew rushes in with"Matu 28sh:20." "Right and God is right here and we can always just talk to him and ask him to help us not be scared."

They are remembering what we have been talking about and I hope they see it in our walk as well. I have to admit somedays, I find myself confessing to Jesus that he may not have been seen at our house in the morning. We always talk about Him, but sometimes God's love isn't bubbling out and I am sure my kids are going, where is Jesus? It's humbling to have to admit that I am wrong and ask for forgiveness from my kids, and from the Lord but it feels good all at the same time.

My last note is about that go show it comment. If you are having to profess that you are a certain way more than you are actually showing it, you need to put the words into action. Doing what is comfortable for you and easy every week isn't showing much heart. Step out love someone, not by your words but by your actions! I like what 1 Peter 1:22 says, "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply from the heart." Maybe it's teach a Sunday School class so the preschool coordinator can attend service? Maybe it's praying for and emailing that friend that you are sick of encouraging and who can't seem to stand on her own two feet? Maybe it's telling your wife she's about to do what she rants about everyweek?

More of God's Love

2008-09-02T22:33:00.000-07:00

Buy more interstate batteries! That is awesome. Since I have no TV, Christine is keeping me in the know....Check this out:
http://www.interstatebatteries.com/godslove/

Very Cool!

Hamsters can't fly

2008-09-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

You may or may not have already known, BUT I assure you hamsters can't fly. Yesterday our 3 year old, Steven, was playing with his hamster. I was supervising for the first 20 minutes but then I decided he was doing such a great job, I would go wipe down the counter tops. So I wiped them down, checked on Steven and Hank(hamster), wiped off table, checked on them. Justin enters house and spends sometime with them and he gets the paint supplies ready for our fence staining project. I clean the toilet, check on them, I am cleaning the sink and I hear "Mom, Hank just died." "What?" I queried. "Hank just shut his eyes and died," Steven responded. Justin was first on the scene, he took the lifeless hamster from Steven and laid him down by his cage. "What happened son," his father asks him. Steven says, "I just threw him and he died." "Can you show mommy how you threw him?" I asked, handing him an oven mitt. For some reason he thought that meant put the oven mitt on and pick up Hank and show us again how he was thrown. "No, pretend the oven mitt is Hank, and show me how you threw him." Steven throws it in the air and it hits the ground.

I am mad beyond belief, mostly at myself but I can't believe the condemnation I want to pull out. I am praying for Grace, forgiveness for my poor judgement, grace so I don't kill my son with tongue lashings. Justin is so wonderful. He looks at me and says, 'the most important thing is the boy.' I have to leave because I am so saddened at how upset I am and though it was mostly at myself, I wanted to take it out on my 3 year old.

Hank is moving now and seems to be stunned but okay, so Justin puts him in the cage and takes the boys to the couch. He talks about God giving us responsibility over the animals and how we are to take care of our pets. He talks about how big daddy is and how daddy is stronger than them and they are WAY stronger than Hank and about how they have to be gentle and kind. They pray for Hank to be healed and Steven prays, "God I am sorry I hurt Hank. I love you Jesus. Please heal Hank." Justin wraps up the prayer. I am in tears listening to my son who understands to be thankful for Jesus because he came here to release us from our transgressions and knows Jesus has the power to heal.

Steven knows first hand about Jesus's miraculous healing power, his fire ant bites went from 20 plus( I stopped counting at 20) to only 2 being found on his whole body at the hospital. We prayed from the moment I hung up the phone with my friend Kelly(whose son is very allergic to fire ants)until she arrived. I am confident that Jesus healed Steven's bites and I am thankful for his healing mercies.

The hamster is doing just fine. We are waiting a few days to handle him but it seems he was knocked unconsious. Every prayer Steven has asked for healing today, so I know it's on his heart. I pray that he knows Grace, AKA Jesus and walks with him. I am thankful for my wonderful husband and his loving way with the boys, I praise God for the balance he has provided me in my mate.

Coming back to the heart of Worship

2008-08-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

You know I have heard 'our lives are our offering', and never thought a lot about it. I thought because I did a lot of good things, I was offering good things for God but I don't think that is the accurate picture of worship. It is in honoring and glorifying of God by gratefully offering back to him all the good gifts, and all the knowledge of his greatness and graciousness, that he has given. It involves praising him for what he is, thanking him for what he has done, desiring him to get himself more glory by further acts of mercy, judgment, and power, and trusting him with our concern for our own and others’ future well-being and so much more!

My evaluation of my worship came after I read The Shack, check out the website at: http://theshackbook.com/ The author does an amazing job of depcting God's love, and the whole idea of God and the trinity so beautifully. Read it! Even if you are a nonbeliever read it, I think you will find it as beautiful as a believer. I believe I had a lot of things wrong! Like God only loves me when I am doing right, reality is I am rarely right so I was missing out that God loved me IN SPITE OF MYSELF. The book is fiction but does make you think stop and think about what we make God out to be like.

The more God shows me, the more I see how little I worshiped him when I could have or should be. Why do learn to read? To read God's word, that is the purpose of reading, sure their are other benefits of being a reader but it's main purpose is to equip you for life with the armor of God. You have the handbook of the universe in your home that shows you how to love, raise your kids, handle conflict, appologize, and have good moral character. So to know how to read and not be dilegently reading his word is selling God short of worship. Reading about love in the Bible and learning that it's a choice(not always a feeling, though emotion is involved) and loving our creator back, showing that same love to others is another form of worship.

How we eat and care for our bodies is a form or worship. God gave me a new pair of glasses over the past 30 days and let me put the old ones on so you can see how I had been seeing. 'I need to loose weight, I don't look good, I can't have sex looking like this, This is gross'...had enough? I have, I want to throw those glasses away but through that perscription I also saw some good things and perhaps I will need that correction later to remember the good things or bad. Through the new pair I see: 'I am created to glorify God with my very existance. I take care of my body because God made me, I am his, to do other wise is not edifing him. He loves me right now even if I am not a super model. Through obiedience he will remove what isn't supposed to be here and glory to him!"

And so I will end my post with the chorus from Michael W. Smith's Heart of Worship

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

I'm Encouraged!

2008-08-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

God is purposeful, I can't ignore. I won't ignore and I won't write Him off. Our lives EVERY step, EVERY thing is meant to be purposefully lived. I choose God's purpose, don't worry I am not claiming he has shown me the plan BUT he does guide me. I don't know where I am going but I am glad to go when God has commanded my step. It is 11:54 when I am typing this I read philippians 3:12-14 and I want to proclaim, "Press On Dear ones!" Read it, it's beautiful!

Monday: I am doing some of my regular house stuff at home. I do 1 load a day wash, folded, put away (Thanks Amanada Renolds, who told me that one when I first moved here 2 years ago) and I see the sock basket and a thought comes to me, wow that basket has a lot of socks in there, I should mate them. But I don't. 2 hours later Christine calls and we are chatting, she is doing laundry and I think of the socks again but again do nothing. Later in the afternoon Steven wants to put on his red Thomas shirt, I had washed it and I yet again am faced with the socks.

Tuesday morning : My sweet husband comes down, and says "ahh this is my last pair of socks, where are all the socks."(He didn't say this annoyed or mean just stating facts) I heard "you don't do your job well, what have you been doing" Inside my body I am upset and just wanting to burst out with anger and hostility and so I pray. When Justin comes back down I say, "I am sorry you are out of socks, could you just be encouraging to me." (No hostility, I was just letting him know I was feeling wounded, though Jesus had already dissipated the anger.

So I feel like the Holy Spirit was telling me to fold the socks, God loves us so much he didn't want me to have those feelings of rejection. He wanted to save my heart and Justin's of the pain of an argument over dumb stuff and even though I didn't follow the Spirits guidance(this time) he still resolved the situation.

Tuesday evening: I blogged about being distracted.

Wednesday message at Shiloh: Come home to your calling, what's distracting you? See God is always working! ALWAYS!

Beautiful message Mrs Cherry! Just what God wanted me to hear.

Yesterday I asked what are some of your distractions. Today I am asking, what are you doing about them?

PS you tell me yours and I will tell you mine:) Love you all!

Too many commitments=Distracted Wife & Mother

2008-08-05T18:49:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to tone down the number of commitments in my life. All the running around, though usually all fun, good things with GREAT people really take a tole on my God given duties. Though I seemed to enjoy the time out and about and always doing things, it was still leaving me empty at the end of the day. My prayers have been to help me see your footprints, Oh God, give me ways to be a better Wife and Mother and I felt God say "slow down". How did God say that? He's been communicating through my husband, my children and my friend, Heike. Things haven't been running so wonderfully here, we have had serious behavior issues with our oldest son and have been getting ready to get some professional help but Jesus, the Great Physician has already been helping us through. Through my obiedience life just keeps getting better, more satisfaction. Just the changes of lessening commitments and focusing on God and his leading footprints have made a HUGE impact. Instead of coming home to stress cavern(I would walk in the door the clutter and mess would throw me in to perfection sickness, I was always appologizing for the mess) NOW I walk in to my tent(which I love tents..camping!!) and it is cozy and beckoning me in. So now I guess the challenge is replacing God with the habbits. The saying 'old habbits die hard' wasn't just a fluke saying BUT the difference this time for me is, though I am open to the change, I am not making the change I really feel like God is. So instead of picking up the phone to meet someone or do something, I pray first. God lead where I should go now.

What is distracting you from where God wants you to go? I am out of time, right now but I do want to know. Love you!

Praying for Wisdom

2008-08-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

NObama 08
So, I have been talking to Justin and God a lot about the subject of politics, especially that of the presidential campaign. Since we haven't had cable for about a year and I rarely make time to get on internet and check in with current events, I have been doing a poor job of educating myself about the canidates, BUT I do know the God of the universe and he knows the canidates and their hearts. I will continue to pray for the canidates and our government, I will pray that the Holy Spirit leads me to informed, TRUE information and I will vote! What are you doing?

He has taken my hand...and all I can say is His Love endures forever!

2008-07-21T13:27:00.000-07:00

It was a rough last week, but worth every trying minute. He has begun a good work in me and has promised to complete it when I see Jesus. Thank you Jesus, keep working in me, stay with me for with out you I am wrong.

So here is a brief synapses of what happened this past week: Andrew fell in the pool and wasn't seen, God's LOVE compelled me to thanksgiving and praise(on my knees, on my face, if you have ever been compelled you know the deep emotion running through you), God tells me to apologize for lying, I obey, Steven is bitten severely(more than 20 bites) by fire ants and has an anaphylactic reaction, 911 is called and he goes to Dell Children's hospital, Andrew runs high fever for 3 days, Steven started running high temp during Andrews second day...

I gave apologies to those in my life group, I still have one to speak with and will do so when he returns. I lied. The lie glorified ME, made me look better or so my flesh said. No one would know but my God knows and what should have been his shinning moment, I stole. God loves me and has been preparing my heart for about 2 months for what he asked me to do and what he showed me about myself. It a beautiful thing when you are called by God to do something and then to see how his hand has been guiding you for months getting you ready for what he has told you to do. Its humbling to know he loves me so much and he cares so much and it makes me want to live better.

I have been praying for over a year for God to humble me, work on me and he is and as I said earlier, it's not easy. It hurts and it's hard and I pray that he continues. For pride is poisonous and full of deceit, and I pray Jesus will smash it. Empty me, so I can be a polished vessel of the holy, and living Spirit of God. I pray that others will know that I belong to Him from the light that shines within my heart. The best thing that has happened over the past year is that my mind is constantly on Him, I think about myself less, the more focused I am on the price Jesus paid for me, the more my thoughts are of Him. I hate the sin that lives with me and in me. I am compelled to say thank you Him for taking my place. His loves compels me.

My new favorite song that I could play all day long is Ruin Me by Jeff Johnson. I sing and weep because my heart longs to be his heart. I am on a long walk with Jesus, he is helping me cut the bindings from my limbs. A while back, I spoke about the condemnation I put myself and family through. In searching to understand His grace, I found this message from John 15:1-17 very moving. The depth of that passage and all the ways it has spoken to me and all the meanings there are MIND blowing. God BLOWS me away!

I am so blown away I know this next piece is going to be confusing, but I will try to organize it the best I can.
I have been struggling with weight for a number of years now and without Jesus, I will continue to struggle. Add Jesus to the equation and he will remove what isn't supposed to be here and by his grace I am allowed to be me. He doesn't love me less because of this weakness, it's in this weakness He is made strong.

I am mesmerized by the whole piece(back to John 15) right now and am having a difficult time organizing my thoughts to be able to convey my thoughts. In John 15 Jesus talks about vines and I was reading about grafting of plants on Wikipedia:) There is a message if what is to come there(Crucifixion) and also just grafting in general what it does. When a branch is grafted to a vine a cut is made and the branch is pushed into the vine, so that the sap can flow to the branch and the two continue to grow together until they are fused. Jesus has telling of himself, yet again letting us know he is the only way to God. He knew he would be pierced and blood would have to flow into us for us to have eternal life. We would have to be fused with him. Wikipedia said that grafting makes plants stronger, bear plentiful and superior fruits, maintain consistency, curiosities(you want people to wonder what's different about you), repair, hardiness, I find the whole passage refreshing and SO beautiful. God is Love, he loves me and wants me to have a relationship and I am so glad.

I want to end this blog with this quote from Jerry Bridges, was president of the Navigators:“Preach the gospel to yourself, you continually face up to your own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through faith in His shed blood and righteous life.”

Blessed...Thank you God!

2008-07-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Last night we(Steven, Andrew and myself) were swimming with some friends. Pool break came and we exited to have some dinner during break. After the break had resumed, both of my boys were done eating, I was visiting with a friend and not done eating.

Steven went into the pool, he was not wearing his swim arms(floaties, water wings) neither was Andrew but he wasn't in the water. I had asked them both if they wanted their wings on and both declined. The water is 2 feet high in the shallow end. Andrew wanted to jump in and I was encouraging him to(though I am not in the water) and I was aware I would have to go because he still panics when he falls under the water, and he may not be able to get his bearings. I have been trying to get him to put his feet under him when he goes under but he usually panics. He wasn't going to jump into the pool but had dropped his superman diver in the water and was bending over and trying to get it. Him falling in was inevitable. I knew this. When I looked away to answer Christine(my friend) and looked back he had fallen in. He was less then 5 feet from the 2 lifeguards at the pool but they did not see. As I was running(I was about 15 feet away at our table) to jump in the pool I said to the lifeguards, " are you guys watching?"

When I pulled Andrew from the pool, he took a breath, didn't act freaked out. As, I was praying and stayed calm. He had held his breath, no sputters, no choking sounds, just blinking and breathing. I praised God and thanked him for his mercy on us. I prayed with Andrew. I just felt compelled to keep giving thanks. Last night when I was putting them to bed, I asked them to thank God for something. Andrew said, "thank you for my blessing." Andrew has heard it so often in the past 2 hours, I guess he knew it was important.

I was praising and giving thanks on my face this am. His spirit is alive and burning inside me this morning. He has shown me a situation to go and ask forgiveness for and His spirit and my flesh wrestle. I know the peace will come and I will do as God's has asked for I love Him and He is to good to a wicked sinner like me.

I come to your altar, O Lord, singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders. I love your sanctuary, Lord,the place where your glorious presence dwells.(Psalm 26: 6-8 )

Amazing Grace

2008-07-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

Lessons learned:

Jesus came to release us from the old Law (first 5 books in the old testament). We are saved through grace, not because of anything we have or haven't done but because God loved us so much and he knew we needed a Savior. We needed saving from Sin. He knew that Sin was to great for us so Jesus came and dealt with sin, he died with sin clutched tighlty to his body and killed it's power over us. If you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior you are a new creature in Christ. Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting! (marvelous light)

I grew up catholic and relied on what I did and how I performed for God but always I fell short. Thus a vicious cycle began, I felt because I loved the Lord so much, why then did I fall on my face, and I would shy away from Him because I was ashamed(and doubted his love) and then I was more inclined to walk by my flesh thus never recieving God's grace. Even now as I type I stuggle with accepting that. I live by rules, my family lives by rules(most unpronounced to them) and there is condemnation when life isn't by the rule, But that means I am living by old law and it is causing conflict in my spiritual walk. I hear God saying, "How much more must I do, to say I love you?" If God never blesses me in anyway ever again, he has already given me eternal life what more must he do, to show his love?

No matter what I have done or how I have sinned, I am special and can have a relationship and closeness with Jesus, without the condemnation. I can fellowship with Him, live with Him, and be filled with His Spirit. I follow and obey Him, not in order to gain is love and favor, but because I love Him and desire to follow and obey Him.

The more I OBEY him, the more his heart is revealed to me and when I keep his commandments it functions as a compass telling me when I am off the path and walking by flesh. I have walked where Christ has told me to, so why then do I slink back into sin and get off course? I relate this to working out, that high one gets from running, like after you have gone a mile or 2 and you reach your second wind and it's easy, you feel like you can run forever. The more you run the easier it is to get into that zone. Then you get hurt and can't run for a while, why does it take so long, for me to get back into it even know I know how good it feels to be able to run like that? Sometimes I stay in a sin for so long and know it isn't fulfilling or satisfing but yet I find myself there again. I think Paul says it best in Romans

Romans 7:15-25 NIV
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

God has shown me so much in the past 8 weeks, I can't express. His Grace BLOWs me away. By God's grace he has brought me into understanding some things, he has helped me to be aware of the condemnation I put myself through and he is saying, "I have already set you free. I love you the way you are."

Right now we live in that inbetween time, between the death of sin and God's final victory. I know I will fall short daily but I am looking forward to a time when there is no evil and no sin. Pray for me as I try cloaking in the Grace of God and accepting that Jesus paid the price, no need for condemnation any longer.

Blog Hijacking

2008-06-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

So, Nicole gave me her password so I could put up her fun new header...and well I decided to hijack it and post some pictures I have. Enjoy.

-Stephanie Cherry

How they typically dress.

The most awesome people they know.

Steven pulling Laomai.

Pray for us dear ones

2008-05-31T00:47:00.000-07:00

Justin and I could use prayer. Please pray for us and our family. We really appreciate you ralling for us. God will hear the cries and we thank you for the help!

Change it or forget about it!

2008-04-12T20:45:00.000-07:00

If it is true what they say about you - do something about it. If it is not true, forget it! -Croft M Pentz
Why do we wrap so much of ourselves in what others think, why do others think they know our hearts and motives? Why when we hurt do we want fairness and justice? God loves justice, certainly but he's forgiving, too. Sometimes we forget that they go together, sometimes we just are so glad 'they got theirs,' or are still waiting for them 'to get theirs,' that we have forgotten to forgive. And we end up being the ones suffering the whole time, an injustice we put ourselves through. I spent time in this bondage and it's horrible. It made me ugly and to those that loved on me during this time, thank God for your encouragement. Thank you for not turning your backs on the monster I had become.

There is good and bad in all of us, we are all precious as we are. I'm glad that God will convict us when we are wrong and teach us, and I'm glad that his forgiveness come quickly and his love is so strong, I am blown away.

I was reading n Hosea today, chapter 11 to be exact. God's love is great, greater than I can even grasp, mind blowing depth. I cried at how much MY sin devastates him, I wish all the black parts of my heart were cut out, never to grow again. How can he forgive me after all I have done? It is more than I can understand or grasp but I feel called to try my best to extend that forgiveness to others. I know my best, isn't even close so I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me extend that grace to others.

My heart was hurt so badly then, I wasn't even letting God in to heal it. I had to keep it bound and let it hurt so I could remember the injustices done to me and in the end I suffered. I am sure God was heart sick, wanting to help me heal and desperately wanting me to forgive so I could move on.

You cannot build your mansion in heaven with mud you throw at others. -Croft M Pentz
Don't let what others have done or do to you, get in the way of the grace God extends you. Don't get caught in the trap of "do unto others as they do unto you." REMEMBER, it's is really do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Take those hurts to God, not to your friends, that is a lie the evil one feeds us, 'you have to tell someone.' If you are telling God, you have told more than someone, you have told the God of the universe and he can do something about it!

Tattletale to God...it's okay and RIGHT!

2008-04-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

So at Bible study this past week, someone said to tattle to God. I really liked it and it seems like a great idea so I started. I just out and out whine to him. Sadly, I have learned something VERY scary about myself and for the record, I DON'T like it. I would rather call my aunt Sue or my friend and tell them what I am supposed to be tattling to God. I suppose in some sick way I think it makes me look better but it doesn't. It trashes the other person, who may have had something horrible going one, or didn't mean at all what I thought was meant by their actions and words and to top it off, lets everyone listening to me trashing that person know that I may in due time do it to them. I say 'trashing' because when you only show the negative side of others, I think that is trashing. My husband is a good man, if we have a conflict and I call my friend to share how badly he acted on one isolated occaision and she hasn't been around us to know him, I have tainted her opinion and thoughts about my husband. His goodness may not ever be able to be seen by her and I am sad just at the thought of that. I need to repent of many times I was unrighteous in this area, and I pray that others who are hearing the trashing/gossiping that we sometimes engage in will stop it by encouraging prayer at that moment. Pray for healing the hurts, letting the spirit guide our tounges and the other person, lift them up to the heavens so God will hear and help.

The bible gives clear rules on how to deal with conflict. Check out Matthew 18:15-20
A Brother Who Sins Against You
15"If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[b] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be[c]bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d] loosed in heaven.
19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Here is my resolution, now it's on the web for all to see and hold me accountable to.
So until I am ready to go to the person I am upset with, I will stick with tattling to God and LISTEN as he will speak to me and counsel me. I won't gossip(it can become that, especially sice we can't know anothers heart) or slander others, I will forgive and lovc. I love how easy it seems right now. I really think it is an ugly attribute and I want to change...pray for me. Encourage me.

I just read this quote and I think it is awesome! "You cannot build your mansion in heaven with mud you throw at others." -Croft M Pentz

BUY Literature written by those abiding in Christ....

2008-03-15T02:28:00.000-07:00

Hey I needed to get up on my soap box and say(to all my book junkies out there) support the Christian authors of this world! There are so many and they are truely amazing! They write everything from mysteries, to love stories and even daily devotionals. Here are a few of my favorites:

Stephanie Cherry's Patina -Great daily wash in the word, bits to chew and savor. Love it! 40 daily glimpse of God and all his splendor.
www.stephaniecherry.com

Tricia Goyer-I really dig the Shadow of Treason Series(Historical Fiction) 3 book series. I enjoyed the twists ans turns and learning about the Spanish Civil War, which I never knew existed. I also love her GeX parenting and marriage books. I relate to the 80s music themes:)
http://www.triciagoyer.com/

Susan May Warren writes some fun romance novels and others(though I have only the romance ones) I enoyed the heart warming stories of Josie.
http://www.susanmaywarren.com/

Lisa Tawn Bergen She has a delightful childrens books series called God gave us. The stories are endearing and my boys love the story and the illustrations...These are some of our favorites.
http://www.lisatawnbergren.com/

Justin's Pick:
Ed Dunlops The terrestria Chonicles. He says he can't wait for the boys and he to enjoy them together. In this series the reader catches a glimpse of the almighty power of the King emmanuel and the wondrous future that awaits his children in the Golden City. It is meant for ages 10 and up! Justin read all 7 boom, boom, boom! http://www.dunlopministries.com/

Faith Driven Family by Voddie Baucham Jr very inspiring to see the truth told and so bold! May this book bless your the way it is ours...http://www.familydrivenfaith.org/Home.html

This a short list. I am beat and there are SO many to choose from. From God all Good things come...Psalm 1. I believe whole heartidly that buying books written by those who are striving to walk with God and fulfill his calling in their life, you will read richer material and be entertained and feel the presence of God and walk away feeling good about what you read(whether it for enjoyment or information) and you will be satisfied knowing you are helping God's people. You are helping to support their families and their missions. The more we encourage Christian authors to write by purchasing, the more Glory God gets....and praise be to the the king!

The shame of it

2008-03-10T03:25:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate it when you know what you should be doing , and what to do but don't? Okay so maybe that's only me...continulously! The lousy thing is right now my quiet time with the Lord is getting jilted and I need to take it back!

One thing I notice in the abscense of my quiet time is my black, black heart is wicked and how much I need the mercy and grace of Jesus and his truth to wash over me and cloak me. I am a very good sinner as most of you know. The real actualization God has given me in the abscene of quiet time is that I actually don't feel as secure in anything, having those guidleines or plumb lines(Justin will like that) is actually a better feeling. Sure sometimes they are uncomfortable and as the Holy Spirit reveals more and I gain more understanding the less uncomfortable those truths feel. The world can get more uncomforable and I feel a bit feakish even now as I write. WithoutGod's truth you wrap yourself in the worldly lies and CAUTION dear ones, how deceitful and easy to convince ourselves that the lie is really okay.

Our life group is reading, Faith Driven Family by Voddie. It has been a challenge for Justin and I and has given us many bits to chew, try to swallow and chew some more. Each chapter and even sometimes page after page I am convicted(just when I thought I may be good too!) My point in throwing this in here is, our kids do better when they have guidelines and consistancy. Don't let the world tell you it's to harsh to: say no, not buy every toy they want, to spank . You are doing your kids a favor whne they are walking between the lines. The bible puts things in black and white, we see the grey and those are the lies of the world. The world has greyed things up but I believe with all my heart that the Bible sets easy to follow guidelines that everyone can read and understand. If I am learning anything at all, it's I am going to be saving a LOT of money on book buying. I have the number 1 best seller for all the life situations right here beside me, well it's probably not the best seller and that really is the shame of it. Run out get yourself a Bible if you don't have one and if you do start using it! It has the answers to life in it, so now I should practice what I preach and take 10 minutes just me and God to catch up. His love be on you!

Write it down Right Now!

2008-02-24T12:04:00.000-08:00

How many times have you told someone that you would pray for them, but didn't write it down and in turn forgot to actually pray specifically for them? Well I am guilty on all counts. I have thrown up the, "And God, please remember those people whom I pledged prayer but can't actually remember who and for what. Just work in thier lives, Father so they see you and love you." I want to encourage you to do better than this! Allow God to work in amazing ways for you and through you and how you might be asking, pray for it!

Get something to write in that is compact enough you can always have it with you. When you tell someone you would like to prayer for their situation or need, write it down so you can focus your prayer. When someone asks you for prayer, write it down so that you can remember their specific needs and lift them up to God. Make it part of your daily prayer time and create a habbit of lifting someone up while waiting at the drive thru for your coffee or other times where their is spare moments(could become the most meaningful bowel movements you have had:))

I remember learning that when some people say, "I will pray for you," they actually mean they are going to ask God on my behalf about a specific situation, and not just some random, 'and bless all my friends, help them find the strengths in their struggles(which I think is better than no prayer at all).' It happend two Octobers ago. I was telling the women in Bible study, that we needed prayer for our home to sell in SD, all these women whipped out paper, journals, pens and sticky notes to write down my request. They were all committed to my prevailing prayer. The Women's bible study ladies even included it in our opening and closing prayer each week, reminding me that my request was on their hearts and minds and they were lifting us up. I remember being a bit awstruct at the whole idea that people were repeatidly praying for our needs. It wasn't just something someone said, they would open their journals and remember me each time they prayed. God heard our names so much, he mercifully delivered us from that house and our prayer was answered.

Before October two years ago, I often told people, 'you are in my thoughts and prayers' but what that really translated to was, "God bless all my friends and family I am praying for, you know their hearts and needs, please help them." But now I sincerely try to remember by writing down others needs and lifting them up daily. My new problem is when do you stop praying for someone? Well when it prevails and God answers like Heather Linde's pregnancy!!! Now I will switch gears and pray for healthy pregnancy and delivery!

I must praise God for the many blessings he has given me. I notice a difference in my connection with the spirit. My relationship and my need for God has deepened and I feel him speak to me more readily or is it that I am listening? I think he and I have grown to be wonderful friends these past two years and most of that is because of prayer. It doesn't feel dutiful but delightful to have the maker of all things console me, laugh with me, speak to me and validate me. Paul says, in 1 Thessolonians 5:17 to pray without ceasing. I get that now. I used to think how could you do that? Well instead of reading the tabloids, pray for those people on the covers, intercede for them and allow God to do amazing works. Instead of gossiping, ask to offer prayer up for those who are struggling and having diffidculties(Matt 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.") WE should bite our tounges instead of letting it bite others. You might feel weird in the beginning but the holy spirit is there and there is no feeling better than that of worshipping the Lord. Praise God for all that you see, thank him for the beautiful trees, flowers and buildings. I often talk to God(prayer) outloud so my kids can hear and I try to openly model my thoughts, and it works! Leaving bible study a few weeks ago, Steven offered up, "Hey! look at that squirrel in the tree! thank you God for the trees." I added, "yes, God than you for the beautiful trees and my beautiful boys!" Amen

Last weekend, Justin and I prayed together about a specific situation that I was feeling much anguist and saddness over, with in 15 minutes God answered that specific prayer with a specific answer!

God bless the intercessors of this world, for they are amazing! They devote hours a day to praying for needs of others, both those they have been asked to pray for and those they haven't(which I believe is the coolest thing ever!) In the book of Nehemiah it talks about how he,Nehemiah, identified the people's sins and prayed prayers of repentance for the people, asking for the Lords mercy and forgivenesss all without being asked. Even cooler is what happens, check it out in your Bible!

2007-12-11T18:46:00.000-08:00

The Southern word for 'go potty, pee pee, or bathroom' is 'tee tee.' Yes I typed it correctly. All my northern friends and family are having the same reaction I did, "What?" with a confused, furrowed brow. So. I have been wondering where the weird word came from and thanks to Stephanie Cherry and the urban dictionary for this:
Here's what Steph found in the Urban Dictionary:
tee tee
(verb) A very genteel southern term for urination. Used for both sexes in childhood, used by women throughout their lives. Tee tee comes from the tee-hiny. A person who would use this term would never let the coarsely vulgar "pee" ever cross their lips.
tee-hiny
(noun) The tee-hiny is the nether region of the body, particularly for women and girls. I have never heard this term in reference to males, but that's not to say it doesn't exist. It isn't just the vagina, it's the "bottom" plus any other places "down there." This term is used almost exclusively in the south by the very genteel but anatomically disinterested. Its origins are unknown, but it's common in South Louisiana, where "Tee" is a French/Cajun term meaning "little." So it could be translated as "little hiny/hinie/hiney."The main product of the tee-hiny is tee-tee. No nice lady in the south would ever say "pee." It is considered extremely vulgar, probably worse than the "F" word. Again, it's not just the vagina because everybody knows you don't tee-tee from your vagina. You tee-tee from your tee-hiny.

SO I guess if you hear 'pee pee' come flying out of my mouth it may be to make someone upset:) FYI I have asked everyone I have heard used this term over the past 2 years and not one person had any idea where it came from. I have potty on the brain as Steven should be but he isn't, he told me today, "I yike diapers, I pee, you change it." I think it's time to take some serious action with the potty training. He was doing so good for so long. We have been using disposables now since we went on our trip, I think when we go back to cloth that will help.

Okay now for a bit deeper thought. I continued reading in Matthew today and read through his crucifixion. I wept thinking about how terrible Peter must have felt after betraying Jesus. I too have betrayed him a in different ways and how easy to say if I had been in his Peter's shoes I would not have faltered but I can think of times where I have. I have been in similar shoes, and how my heart breaks at the realization of it. My first thoughts of this day were focused on Matthew 40-41.
40Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. "Could you men not keep
watch with me for one hour?" he asked Peter. 41"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into
temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
Oh how I can relate especially right now as I struggle with my weight and overall health. All the more reason to pray without seizing!

My thoughts today are centered around this thought as a whole. Christ came here for ME(and YOU!), a broken person, with a messy life. Christmas is a time to remember the gift God gave us. A perfect God giving his perfect LOVE to this imperfect world! Which makes me want to conclude this with prayer because I am moved again just typing this thought.

Thank you God for sending your son, our savior to heal our broken hearts and help us clean up our messy lives. Help us to learn from Christ's life and example and help us to open our hearts and have faith that you will heal our broken places. Thank you for this life, thank you for my many blessings and thank you for Jesus. In Jesus Christ name, Amen!

What's wrong with talking about God and sex in the same conversation?

2007-12-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

God created sex and orgasims..so PRAISE HIM! Recently we had a girls night out here and I enjoyed it so much. I hope Mel and Lisa did too! Lisa stops the conversation and says, "I don't think I have ever talked about God, sex and drank wine all at the same time." We laughed and continued in our conversations, which I am sorry you are not privvy too!

It's important to talk about the gospel messages and Jesus Christ and why he was sent here. I love that Fellowship at Plum Creek talks about how to be saved everyweek, perhaps we should be more like that. Every conversation leaving each person with 'something God promised' to think about for the day. Having your nonbelieving friends say all you ever talk about is Jesus (that by the way is a compliment). It wasn't that way when I was a kid but fortunately for my kids it will be that way for as long as they can remember.

I am not trying to be boastful here, I am just trying to show you the thoughts and actions that have been happening here lately to give my title some supporting documentation! At Negley Christmas fair, I chose to be outside. It was a lovely day, a little rain but I made it through without melting(whew! not a witch) There was a windchime lady outside as well. That morning I had read in Daniel about how King Neb had made a statue and wanted everyone to bow down when thay heard all these instruments playing. So all day long I was thinking about that and identifing idols that I was bowing to, had bowed to and vowed never to bow to again. Nearly EVERY person that stopped that day said something about it, including my husband. I joyfully shared why that noise was there, that God wanted me to think about this scripture as he needs me to understand what I am doing in my life right now! I shared that story in Daniel at least 20 times and more and more of the idols I was bowing to and one lady stopped writing her check and said, "Wow, thanks for sharing that. Praise God! Now do I need to add tax on here?"

I remember when I worked in the cannery in Alaska. Amy van Dyke and I talking about God again. We did this daily, our conversations entailed from what we read in scripture to how/what we were moved to pray about. Well we lived in a tent, in a tent city and everyone could hear our conversations. One particular evening, a man went walking by and in an annoyed sounding voice saying, "bible, bible, bible, bible, God, bible, God" I remembering laughing and yelling, "We will pray for you!" Amy where ever you are thanks for helping make it through there and always remembering God!

Tricia Goyers New Fiction Series..Book 2

2007-12-04T00:02:00.000-08:00

I didn't pay attention to history class, I paid attention to my neighbor who paid attention to history class. How sad that truth is now, not only was it deceitful, I really did only cheat myself. I watch movies or read historical fiction and I am fascinated but sad because I'm not building on any prior knowledge, thank goodness I am capable of learning now and I know how to research and find more information:)

Which brings me to series I am reading written by Tricia Goyer. It is called Chronicles of the Spanish War. Book one was a great love story, packed with war adventures, and the faithfulness of God and his promises. I was so happy that book 2 arrived last week but was afraid to start because I have been known to start and finish a book all in one setting..and then I am wiped out and my kids are wondering what happend.

Here is an excerpt from book 2, I will let you know what I think when I complete it.
Sophie discovers that nothing is as she first imagined. When Walt, the reporter who helped her over the border, shows up again after Guernica is bombed, Sophie is given an impossible mission. She must leave behind the man she's fallen in love with and return to the person who betrayed her.
Another layer of the war in Spain is revealed as Sophie is drawn into the international espionage schemes that could turn the tide of the war and help protect the soldiers from the International Brigade ... but can she find a way to get the information she's discovered to Walt before it's too late?

2007-11-22T12:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Give thanks that you don't have to read this if you choose not to. If it were an email you might feel obliged.

I have decided my thoughts are worth more than a penny, probably more like a nickel hence the title of this blog.

I have some free time today and I have been wanting to set up my account on here for a while so here it is. I am going to be transfering my blogs from my space over here so for a bit it is going to look like I am printing press. Most of you who know me know I am never usually short on words anyway.

It's turned out to be a pleasant day here in South Dakota, it is colder than Texas but it is a very nice day today. The tryptophan is working nicely everyone is napping with the excption of me. We were supposed to have my grandparents here but my grandfather fell twice this morning and is resting. We are waiting to hear how he is feeling. Please pray that he will heal and strengthen.

My sister, Katie made some outstanding pie crust and she says she can't cook. Can't means Won't! Silly sister!

I love seeing my boys and hers play and love one another, it brings me back to my own childhood. I spent 90% of my time as a kid playing with cousins and it was always great!

Holidays are filled with a vast array of emotions for me as I am sure many of you can relate. Today God spoke to me through the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-41). Here is a version with a bit of a holiday twist.

Jesus is at my house several hours before the ‘festivities’ begin and of course, I am a procrastinator by nature so I have a LONG list of things that normally takes 3 days to complete but now I will complete them in 4 hours! My family has also gathered and are visiting and listening to Jesus teach. I am frantically mixing up the pie fillings, checking the bread to see if it’s doubled in size, walking out to the garage to check the turkey cooking in the roaster and I trip with the cream pie I was carrying out to the extra garage fridge. I am now cleaning up the mess, wondering why no one has checked on me, no one is offering to help, don’t they know I have to finish the lacing the ribbon through the eyelets on all 22 of the name cards? My heart grows bitter and all I see is how everyone isn’t seeing me and all I am doing to make this a success for them! Or was it for me? I seem to loose track. Then when I have finally broke and my bitterness takes over, I go and say, “Lord, can’t you see no one is helping me! Tell them to help me!”
Jesus takes my hand and says, “Nicole, you are worried about many things but only one thing is needed. Your family has chosen what is better and it can’t be taken away from them.”

My dear family, it is easy to get distracted with all the holiday preparations, from the gift buying, Christmas card sending, decorating, meal planning and all the other scurring around that we do. How challenging to be Mary in the Martha world we live in. It is easy to have an excuse not to seek time with the Lord each day, even a short 5-10 minute devotional but I encourage you to try especially during this season. If you are looking for a place to start there are many FREE online resources that can send you daily scripture and questions to help you think more deeply and apply it to your life. Plugging yourself into a Bible based church for encouragement and accountability would also be a step in the right direction.

I find it is easy to be Martha but focusing on God and what Jesus taught, I can be Mary instead. I am going to try and post a picture of the boys..

More on finding the strength to go the distance...AKA the Dora saga

2007-11-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

So Mari read the blog and knew who Dora was! She is a good Aunt staying in the know. Anyways, I forgot a character that ties in with this whole thing...Swiper! Swiper is symbolic of the devil and if you let him, he can take your life.
Here is something that Beth Moore said that made me want to jump up and scream AMEN!, Captivity is friendly but it doesn't stay friendly. How many times have we told the little white lie that turns into the never ending story, or the if you have this bottle of lotion it will make you age less, this one makes you smell great, ooh this one even smells better, next thing you know half the house is filled with crap you aren't using and it's overwhelming? This is my current senerio..so much stuff you don't even know where to start or how and when you muster up the courage there is Swiper saying oh, you paid for that, you might use it some day, making these material possesions seem as though they are everything but inreality they are chains. How true the old adage about Be careful of what you own as all the stuff you own will end up owning you is. This seems like a Proverb but I don't know and right now I don't have time to research, Mari take care of that one for me;)
Sometimes I try to be the Holy Spirit, I am NOT the Holy Spirit, I pray for him to move in and out of me like the wind and I feel his presence s and it brings tears, joy and even rest, just knowing that there is help with all the battles I am fighting. Sorry to Sharene and anyone else who has fallen victim to me masked as the Holy Spirit, please forgive me.
So Isaiah 47:8-10 are resounding through my heart right now.
"Now then, listen, you wanton creature, lounging in your security and saying to yourself, 'I am, and there is none besides me. I will never be a widow or suffer the loss of children.'
9 Both of these will overtake you in a moment, on a single day: loss of children and widowhood. They will come upon you in full measure, in spite of your many sorceries and all your potent spells.
10 You have trusted in your wickedness and have said, 'No one sees me.' Your wisdom and knowledge mislead you when you say to yourself, 'I am, and there is none besides me.
Never think you are above the law of land. Once that happens, God disciplines as a reminder he is king. I recently have fallen victim, thanks to Sharene and Traci for the heads up. I had a friend come up to me and heed warning on me about someone at work, and when I was retelling the story to my friend the same message came back to me. Then I read this scripture, I thought I was above that because I know what it has done, I am watching this same scenerio unfold with a friend so I thought I had it "all figured out" Well, that's dangerous ground. Praise God for the people he has put into my life to hold me accountable and help me before mistakes were made...becasue we never know!
I am struggling right now. We are building a new home in here in Texas, this time someone else is building..praise God! I am having a difficult time with the materialism of it all, it is no where near the caliber of home we built in the hills and there my friends is where my problem lies. Pray for me as I focus on scripture to help me break the chains of materialism and focus on what matters most.
Kim and Jonathon are coming for Austin City Limits this weekend so I have got to do some cleaning!

Family relations..WATCH your words!

2007-11-21T12:26:00.000-08:00

Relating to our family is at it's best TOUGH! Especially if you are trying to behave as Jesus would. Familiy knows all of your flaws, what gets you roused faster than anyone so with all that said wow, how hard it is to be loving with the ones we love but as I have found in my own marriage you get more with honey than vinegar. I find many times and situations when I just want to call it how I see it, but that is the problem. How 'I' see it isn't really how it is. I need God's help because he sees the whole person, he would never say, "that selfish sister who can't see anything else but her own needs," not that I have any idea what God actually knows but I imagine he would say, "poor girl, she loves her sister so much and is already sad that she has to go, oh how she loves her and loves spending time with her sister, show her how much you love her too." I know he knows our hearts better than we know our own, but just providing me with more insight to my situation helps so much with me trying to do as Christ might. One of the problems is it's not always immediately there, Christ hasn't shot some new info that helps with that situation at that second, so I have had to learn to bite my tounge and pray. I pray that I can be loving in the situation and that God will help me through and help me have the strength not to answer my way. My way by nature is not nice, not good at all. Our words that hurt can be everlasting. Always remembered are those hurtful things that damage even though their intent might ot have been to damage. When we got back to Texas from our last trip to SD in July, Justin(my husband) had this horrible bite looking thing on his leg, and it was terribly painful and then itchy. When we looked online at different types of spider bites we thought it may be brown recluse, so I called mom and told her we thought Justin had been bite by a spider at her house. It ended up being poisen ivy and all over his body, still not sure how or where he got it. So I had totally forgotten about all of this until we came back home for Thanksgiving. My mom on 3 counts on my first days visit has said the room we were staying in was immaculate no spiders, very clean. I didn't catch on because as I said I had totally forgotten it. I apparently hurt my moms feelings when I told her justin may have been biten by a spider, so much so that she was frantically hermedically sealing our room before our visit. I never meant to hurt her feelings and I am not even sure of all that I said but case in point some times we stay stuff that isn't going to do good, so that's my other new idea. I am going to try to examine what I am about to say and if their is no purpose, no good in it, why waste the time and energy on it.
I was reading in the book of Luke today and here it is as reference to my thoughts.
Luke 10:38-42 (New International Version)
At the Home of Martha and Mary 38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
Can you imagine Martha scurring around making all the food for Thanksgiving, decorating the table, making name tags, trying to keep the house clean though there is tons of company and then seeing her lazy sister there just listening! She gets so frustrated she shouts out, "hey dad, tell her to help me she is just lazing around and I am stuck here working!" Poor Martha wasn't doing what she was doing with a glad heart so the bitterness and resentment grew. Then God helps her realize that name tags don't matter, nor do the decorations and keeping the house clean is a loosing battle but what she is missing out on is so much better, so much more important. I pray that we and our families will all FOCUS on what really matter this holiday season and we will respond as Jesus would to more of our situations. Love you all and Happy Turkey Day!!!

Finding the courage to go the distance

2007-11-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

Begin here...Go there..Finding the courage to go the distance.

I am helping out with our new MOPS ministry that has recently came here in Kyle, TX. Our theme this year is John 14:17, which I feel like was my first sign from God to say yes to this ministry. Actually vesuses 15-17 are where I feel God is speaking to me, for those of you not cracking open the Bible...here is the excerpt: .
Jesus Promises the Holy Spirit
15"If you love me, you will obey what I command. 16And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever— 17the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you.

What a beautiful promise God has made to each one of us. Do you ever get that over whelming urge you just need to talk to someone? I sure do, I think those are the times Jesus is saying hey, slow down, spend some time with me. I delight in your company, lets talk about things, want to know how to make your life better, seek my counsel. Often I mistake that for, should I call my mom, or Aunt Sure or someone. As I try to seek his truth and spend the time, I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit within me more and more.

I have been reflecting back on where I have come from, as many of you know, I have recently moved from South Dakota, where I was born and raised. I guess it all began there. Where I am I going? I guess we have all moved from some point A and are heading out but do you know where point B is? I can tell you for most of my life I was doing the driving and wasn't sure where point B was. Is there something wrong with just staying at point A? No, I don't think so as long as you are tuned into what God is telling you, you may very well be just where you should be. So is my life is very similar to a Dora-The Explorer episode ? Where are we going?…clap, clap, clap! Are there three destinations I need to travel to, and then it's over? Does my friend, Holy Spirit (AKA-Boots), get to come along? More importantly, is God crying out "I'm the MAP, I'm the MAP!" I do believe with all my heart that God is crying out "I'm the MAP!" He came so that we might have life, and have it to the fullest, John 10:10. For me that doesn't mean remaining at point A. God doesn't just want me to become complacent, but to press forward in my walk with Him. The thing that we are learning (Justin and I) is the closer we seem to get to him or a place like we feel his presence and love pouring in, happens to coinside with when we feel the most pressure from Satan. I need courage to go the distance. Praise be to God for John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. I know my point B is Heaven, but how I travel until I reach my destination is my definatley why I need the MAP!
One of the ways, God speaks to me most profoundly is through Christian music. While driving the other day, I heard Casting Crowns' newest single, East To West. Here are just some of the words that inspired me, "I don't want to end up where you found me…I know you cast my sin as far as the east is to the west and I stand before you now, as if I've never sinned, but today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from you leaving me this way…"Oh, how often I have made one mistake, and then another. I lose patience with my kids. I get angery with Justin. I speak hurtful words to a dear friend. What a complete mess I make of things, and then I hear the chorus, "…and Jesus can you show me, just how far the East is from the West cause I can't bear to see the man (or woman) I've been rising up in me again in the arms of your mercy I find rest 'cause you know just how far the East is from the West from one scarred hand to the other."

Who is putting out your fires?

2007-11-18T19:29:00.000-08:00

So I have been studying the book of Daniel, and I think it would make an extremely excellent movie! I am just totally into the story and it has been really useful for me and some self evaluation.So here is a quick, very vague synopsis of Chapters 1-3, it doesn't even give the story the life and intrigue that the story actually has..so READ Daniel, it's short and a great story and if you want to converse about it I am ready anytime:)So far it is about Faith testing; at least that is how I am reading into it right now. Their faith is tested by God in each chapter and in each chapter you can see how God stays faithful. In chapter 1 they are given choice meat and wine to drink but they eat veggies and H20 because God has told them how they should eat. And they end up being the healthiest, best of the best and the King favors them.Next in Chapter 2 God tells them the dream King Neb has had and interprets it to them, so they can be saved from being cut into pieces.Now here is what today's blog is about,They (not Daniel but the 3 others) will not bow down to a statue King Neb has made and they say God will save them and even if they are not saved they say they choose God. They are bound and cast into the fire(the fire is so hot it kills the guys that toss them into the furnace) and yet they come out unscathed, not smelling of smoke not singed NOTHING! The only thing that has burned is there bindings. God delivered them from the fire.SO, Fiery trials (this is from the Beth Moore Study Daniel BTW) 3 things can happen from them:
You can be delivered from it and faith is built(everyone onlooker that day must have been awestruck and saw the power of God and I am sure many of them had faith in God at that moment, just reading I got goose bumps)
You can be delivered through it and Faith is refined.
You can be delivered into Gods arms and Faith is perfectedI liked her cancer example..so you can find a lump and pray and when you go into get it checked out, it could be gone or nothing at all(1st case scenerio), you could be diagnosed with cancer and survive and be cancer free..GLORY to GOD for his healing(2nd senerio) OR you could died from the cancer and be in heaven.So God has really opened my eyes to something...they are all winning scenarios.
But it's letting go and letting God. Giving him control that we can see these things. I have been reflecting on fiery trials since yesterday, I have a difficult time because I think I have had an easy life compared to most but I have had some and I am going to share because maybe someone can relate...1st fiery trial, I can think of is my mom having cancer, everything happened to quickly and she was having surgery the next day and then 2 weeks later she is recovering and my father is killed in a freak accident. In this case our faith was built, in fact my mom clung to the Lord and by example so did I. I had always believed in God but never relied on him until that moment, it was later that year that I can remember surrendering to Christ and asking him into my heart more sincerely then I ever had previously.
2nd one I am going to share is the house in SD. We built this big beautiful house in the BH and it became our God. We quit attending church so we could work on the house, we didn't have time to read his word because we had to get the house finished, we got wrapped up in materialism and the ways of the world and forgot all we know to be good and true and FAITHFUL! In the end we began to pray for deliverance and he began to deliver us through it within 3 months of when we began to pray and allow him to be in control again. It took 14 months of us being more faithful then we had been before we were finally delivered completely through it. This is how we ended up in Texas.
3rd one is happening now. I am struggling with depression and just getting through with life, but this time I know that God will deliver me in someway and I am staying faithful this time. I do not need anything but him to speak and me to surrender which is still a daily struggle. As I am listening I hear him clearly and sometimes I chose not to obey and it results badly but when I listen and obey only goodness.
So what are your fiery trials and most importantly who is putting out your fire? Since I have lived in Texas and been more faithful I feel like God has perfected my vision I see things more clearly, though Satan loves to lie and try to tell me other things, I chose to ignore and not play into his lies.
Just today he tried to get me to call a friend and tell her I was sick of putting up with her and her not being my friend, but that isn't the case at all. She is doing all she can do to survive right now and she needs me more than I need her. God tells me call her, make the effort let her know you care and are praying for her.Glory to God for Andrew is healing and I wasn't going to take him into the Doctor after I spoke to the nurse on Friday but I could feelGod pushing me to take him on Saturday, so I did and it wasn't at all what they had thought over the phone and he was given some medicine that helped him so much and he is doing better each day.

Please pray for my cousin Sarah as she is having some serious complications with her pregnancy. I am praying for her deliverance through this, please join me. God hears you! Please do email me your trials, I really do want to hear....