Movin' to Montana..euhh! euhh! (Sung to Will smith's song welcome to Miami)

It's officially March, we are officially moving and I am officially giving up on all things technical. I am not sure the last time I blogged but its been a long time. I can't believe how an additon of one little lovey to the group can change your dynamics and schedule. There is simply not enough time, so something has to give. Her feedings are much shorter now, so I rarely get on FB, except when I am procrastinating something, which of course I am trying not to do because there isn't enough time.

I had been praying about that procrastination problem for a while, so guess how the Lord is helping me? I am selling my house and having to keep it clean...WOW! I hope some of these habits stick. Though I do love how clean the house is, it really is a pain. When your four year old says, "I want to have a dirty house," you know I speak the truth of how stressing it is for everyone. Steven is a builder, and loves to leave his projects out that he is building, so constructing and demolition should not happen on the same day for that sweet soul, its tough on everyone. Andrew is a perpetual mess bomb, from getting dressed(you should see the bedroom when he is finished, I wonder why the shirt he always chooses is the one that's on the bottom.), breakfast time (in his hair, the floor, the chair, the table and hopefully the majority makes it to his mouth, though you wouldn't guess that by looking at the aftermath), then play time (storage bins of toys...'nuff said). Andrew's loudest complaint is, "I can't do this all by myself," which really means, I need help, this mess I have made frightens me! Which this is whqat i scream inside, so I can relate!

Our six month old, Monique or Momo as she is called, is a true delight. She had a rough week of a cold but she pulled through and is back to her, stoic, even tempered self. She is a wonderful baby and we are blessed by her presence. Steven and Andrew are little gems too and have to be the best big brothers around. I love what God does, I love how he challenges my family and brings us through better on the other side. That is what Jesus does.

For now, Justin is working for a company in Montana from Texas, who thought that was a real life scenerio? Our home is on the market (http://www.220bottlebrushdrive.com/) and we wait on the Lord to prepare the way. Our hearts are being readied for this new assignment, as we seek him more peace enters and some of the fear moves out. The most important thing we are trying to do is not to stop living and get lost in the 'wait'. The wait can throw you into idleness and then disaster. It's important to still 'live' here, and so we press on, which some days it's difficult.

We will miss so many things about Texas. I was told before moving here it was a love it or hate it state, s I guess we are on the love it side. It's funny to me that the place I wanted to be the least, is now the place I will miss the most. I pray that our hope and strength in the Lord will rise as we wait upon the Lord to prepare the way.

Looking up or looking down?

I find when my eyes are directed up towards heaven bound all is clear. When I am looking down and all around I feel dazed and confused and slightly worse is when you are only looking at yourself. That is a hard pill to swallow when you realize your eyes are only on yourself, depression can do that when you take your armour off. What a fight the last month of pregnancy was for me. Shuting every door to everyone, even God and then asking God to speak as if I were listening. So selfish, so not where I wanted to be. More refreshing was to know my husband was holding on tight to Jesus and calling to him, interceding on my behalf. That is beautiful now that I am feeling better. I am thankful for Justin, so thankful to have him to walk this life through.

I had someone speak something very ugly, very horrible to me. I had a choice to follow my flesh or follow Jesus. Speaking about turning the other cheek and turning the other cheek are two different things. If you thought you turned your cheek and then told everyone you know about how bad you were wronged, I believe you didnt turn the other cheek. I had committed at that moment to do as Jesus commands us to do and don't think even for a minute it was easy. At every encounter that day and the next few, I wanted to get a poor me tap but instead I prayed and asked for strength.

After some prayer and washing in god's word, I realized something, the words that were so wounding, were not far from the truth and I needed to see that and hear it. I need to make a change, pick up and get on with life, I am ineffective if I stay in this mess of depression and this season passed time for a change. Please be in prayer for me as I await the king's orders. Love you.

2 months have flown by!

Monique is 2 months old, can you believe it? We can't. We are so thankful for the help we have had. Justin's mom, Jean was just here for 4 weeks. So I am attempting to fly solo now, for the first time. I don't have time to write, I just wanted to post some pictures. Hope you all are doing well. We love you and are looking forward to your Christmas cards and letters and pictures!! I may even send one:) No promises though. Lots of love, Nicole

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Well truth be told, we would have been happy girl or boy. Justin kept saying how nice it would be to have a girl and look at what special gift God gave him on his birthday!!

Introducting Monique Elizabeth Konotopka 8lbs 14 oz and 22 inches long!

Look Daddy and Monique have the same hairline.

I had lots of amniotic fluid so she was able to swim lots, start labor then stop it then not come after hours dilated to an 8! She did come though and we are so glad she did, feeling so good to have her here and praising God for our healthy addition!

We are going to be out of the loop for two weeks to spend sometime just us, building immune systems, resting and adjusting. We are glad to share our news with everyone and look forward to introducing you soon!!

It's a wonderful life....

I have no camera..but a new one is on the way. Here are the guys in their summer haircuts. I felt the same way I did when I came home from the Coast Guard Academy and Justin had died his hair white and had the goat tee. I so wish I had a picture to post. You can also see the snazzy new curtains in the background. We finally saved enough to buy some curtains, what I learned was I should have saved longer for the rods. They are ridiculously expensive.

Steven and his amazing pee stories, I am not adding or exaggerating in any way. These are all true accounts of our 4 year old.

2:00 am House is sound asleep. "Hi guys!" Steven bops into our room, sounds as if he's been up for hours. "Son, what are you doing?" I ask. "I just have to potty." We hear the sound of liquid being poured onto the carpet, I sit up in bed and can see from the hallway light, Steven is peeing in our doorway. Then Steven says, "Goodnite, I can't find the flusher." I follow him to his room and he gets in bed and is out cold. Justin and I laugh ourselves sick as we are toweling up pee. Carpet needed cleaning anyway!

The boys were watching a instant play on Netflix on the computer(my babysitter when I am trying to get all I have procrastinated done), I come in and his pants are around his ankles and he is sitting in the chair watching the video. "Son, why are your shorts down?" "Nothing," he says and then Andrew chimes in, "I do, Steven peed in the trash can." After the conversation of we don't pee in trash cans, I learned he didn't want to miss his video. Hmmm maybe it's time to teach them about the pause button.

Steven is in the bathroom in the morning. This thunderous giggle is errupting from the bathroom, I say, "what's the matter?" He says, "My butt just burped and I peed on the wall. I am so sorry the pee went everywhere." Never in my life have I cleaned bathrooms so much. Now that both boys are standing they get wiped up at least daily, most days more often. The good is that I never worry(to much) if the bathroom is too gross if someone stops by.

I am sorting baby clothes and notice Andrew trying to carry the kiddie potty out of the bathroom. I ask, "Son, why do you have the potty." He replies, "steven needs to go potty and I am taking it to him." "You can tell Steven mommy says, to go potty in the bathroom." Okay he definatley needs to know about the pause button.

And now for Andrew, he is pretty excited to be a big brother like Steven and not be the baby anymore.

Andrew has been waking up and every morning he sits on my lap to tell me his dream(which is a made up story of some kind, maybe a dream, probably not). He whispers, "I had a nightmare" and begins with the story. They usually have a ghost in them and then some how at the end they end up all rosie and eating ice cream. Good morning entertainment.

Andrew came and ask me to pray for him because his soldiers(shoulders) were hurting. His father had been working shoulders just the day before and complaining about soreness...I hope it isn't something that you can catch:)

We are at the grocery store and using the restroom. They have the foam soap and Andrew is barely tall enough to reach it by himself and of course he is BIG now and wants to do it himself. He pushes the button and it squirts him in the face, giving him the perfect mustache. The three of us are laughing so hard, we can barely contain ourselves. So I try to help thinking, I have his hand in the right spot and bam! it happens again, though not as strategically placed as the first time, but still just as funny. What a great day at the store, laughing can make the day so much more memorable!

Andrew nearly always refers to the new baby as a girl. It's always she and her when he talking about the baby. He had big plans for what she will be learning when she arrives. He really thinks changing diapers is going to be something great, I sure hope he's good at it, that would be awesome..LOL

Andrew keeps saying he thinks he needs to go to the doctor. "Why do you think you need to go to the doctor son?" I ask. "My eyes keep doing this," as he crosses his eyes and looks very crazy( I so need to insert a picture here) We are getting a new camera then I promise to be better about posting photos!

Kids are great, all kids. I have always thought so. I never thought I would be a mother, always thought I would be that cool Aunt without kids that everyone loves to visit. You spoil the kids rotten and leave. I am so glad God had a different plan for me. God blesses us with children, and without them I can see some of the largest blessings I would have missed. The joy they bring as they make us laugh, the love we feel at unpromted hugs and kisses, the way they make us want to strive to be better because they are always watching and learning, but the coolest thing for me is how I can relate to God better because of this role he has placed me in called parenting. The way He loves me, the way the Word speaks to me and provides insight that I could have never known without being a parent.

Tonight we were talking about some scripture in Matthew and in Psalms and it all makes complete sense to me as I think about it from a parenting perspective. Thank you Father for that gift! I want God to show me how to raise my boys His way, through His word so that they may live upright, righteous lives and bring HIM glory.

Wedgies..a little discomfort in this charmed life

So I have wedgie, it's uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to write about, think about and share with you. It all began in May. The feelings that came were un expected. The overwhelming sadness and waves of dispair, tough to fight daily. My husband poured prayer and encouragement, as well as some close friends and I cried out for the Lord to take it away but instead He walked with me through it. For what purpose am I struggling this way? Where was I going before this happend because I feel like I have been in a holding pattern for months?

I find myself asking this question a lot lately. Where am I going? Sometimes you feel like you are heading in the right direction and all of the sudden you are wondering, where am I? Ever feel like that? I have spent 10 days now waiting for a baby, I was convinced it would be here by August 20th, or at least 5 days before(both boys came 5 days before their due dates), but as I type on Aug 20, still no baby. I am so thankful my mom has been here for the past few weeks. I couldn't go on much longer in my previous state. I have had time to reflect, love on the boys(Justin too) and just have my mom love on me.

I have been in a hold pattern. First with the depression I experienced this pregnancy, I have never had the extreme sadness I felt during this last trimester before. Thank you to my precious husband who encouraged me everyday, prayed over me, and never once said get over this, even when I just wanted him too. Thank you for my friends who prayed over me, Christine who taped scriptures to all my windows to encourage me, my neighbor Rose for always checking in on us and helping me to tidy the house. It is so humbling, so hard for me and try as I may I am counting on Grace to get me through this.

God has reminded me once again, things run on His time, baby will come when it's ready. Satan likes to take oppurtunities when things aren't running on our time to plant seeds of doubt and worry, so we must work harder to trust Jesus. Well meaning family and friends push science and medical advice on you, thinking they are helping all while hitting you upside the head with Satan. You have to work harder to trust Jesus. Not always the easiest, though you want it to be. He whispers lies of judgement in your ear and so you have to recognize those for what they are, LIES and recommit to Jesus.

I want this wedgie out! It's uncomfortable and might leave a stain but hopefully that stain will remind me of yet another time the Lord has brought me through some tough stuff.

To forgive or not to forgive that is the question..

I have spent months thinking about forgiveness and God has given me such a sweet understanding, I wanted to write it down and share, I am sure I can't do it justice with words, as I am much better with numbers:)

Forgiveness comes hard for some people in your life and easy for others, I have been praying about that now for about 9 months. I think the big factor there is relationship and communication, when you know where someone is, the struggles, hardships, where they came from, the more of a relationship you have the easier it is to forgive, at least for me. Don't you think that is why Jesus can still love us even though we do some really awful things? He knows everything about us, he understands where we came from, why we chose to make the choice we did and He sees where we are going. All that being said, I also find it mind blowing that he loves us, especially knowing that you are going to make a lot of mistakes and bad choices....newsflash it's written in the Bible that all will fall short of the glory of God but thank God for Jesus. Christ is your mediator, the one who paid the price for you, the one that wants you to pursue him back, the one that keeps putting that loving person in your path that you think is wacko because they love Jesus so much. I used to know some of those wackos too, and now I have become one:)

Forgiveness can lead you to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you. I hope if you are having difficulties forgiving someone, you will quickly use the biblical conflict resolution model(Matt 18: 15-17) and allow Jesus to work through you. Even small things are best dealt with right away before they can take root and bind you in bitterness, pain and even hatred. It's okay to let someone know they hurt you. Sometimes when I get stuck I think about times I have been forgiven and how I was treated and my heart softens to think that I was forgiven. Sometimes things you are forgiving are TOUGH, and you will have to recommit daily, even hourly but forgiveness is for you not them. Forgiveness won't change the other person but it will change your life, bringing you more happiness, peace and healing from the bondage that comes with holding a grudge.

If I have learned anything at all, not forgiving is more work than forgiving. How many times should we forgive someone who won't change? The bible is VERY clear..check out the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matt 18: 21-35. I hope if you have someone to forgive you will pray and find away to forgive them, forgiveness looks best on everyone. Loves to all!

Steven is four!

WOW, it seems like it was just yesterday when I was living in the unfinished basement dreaming of the finished house and the start of our family with a child. Here he is another year older. He is a quick witted guy, and most of the time, Justin and I are out smarted before the battle begins. He is courageous and kind and serious. One of our friends uses the word stoic to describe him but he doesn't seem to be void of emotion when he dislikes some thing.


His birthday day was an entire day for Steven. He planned his menus for his birthday meals and all he wanted to do was watch TV so he watched Thomas, Thomas and more Thomas. Then he rode his Thomas bike and helped prepare the house for his birthday dinner of queso, and quesadillas. We decorated cups, blew up balloons, invited Big Frank and our neighbor Rose over to join us.

Steven and Andrew had 3 gifts unwrapped before anyone even knew what was happening. We hadn't even started the party but the party had begun. He was elated to get a baseball bat, glove and ball. We have had lots of fun in our backyard playing with them already. We are now saving for the broken window fund, if you would like to make a contribution..LOL


He was as excited , you could tell he really enjoyed opening his presents and having the attention. Here are some of the birthday party photos and cute Steven stories.

He loves singing and sings all the time. When something comes on the radio and it happens to be his favorite, the grin and the jammin' that commences is fun to watch. He loves HAPPY by Aiesha Woods but has moved onto one of the new VBS songs for his favorite, 'I get down but he lifts me up.' is often heard in the car, the shower and while playing cars.

Photo to the left is after Steven's 1K. His reward was a chocolate donut. I think he and Kobe enjoyed the refreshments the most.

If you ever get the treat of having Steven being tickled deeply by something in your presence, you will no doubt feel joy as he lets loose his belly laugh. When it happens it's all Justin and I can talk about for days because it's so great!

I have been having painters come and give us estimates on painting the interior of the house, with both of us working full time, it's not a project either of us wants to handle. Well, one of the painters I thought was great so I wanted to talk to Justin about it and I excused myself from the table to call Justin at work, mean while Steven climbs up in my chair and begins telling the man the resurrection story(unannounced to me) and as I am coming back to the table he says, "wait a minute mom, I am not done, Then Mary was bringing back the spices to put on his body and when the angel rolled the rock away he wasn't there. Jesus is alive for you and me! That's great!" He gets down and goes and plays, I am so pathetically evangelical I say, did you just get a bible lesson and he says "yes, I believe I did." I told Justin I needed another chance to talk to that guy because I had done such a poor job initially so we need to hire him.
Mr. No nap passes out after an afternoon of bike jumping:)

He learned to ride a balance bike this year and about 4 weeks ago I thought he was ready for a bike with pedals and no training wheels. We posted on Craigslist for a Thomas bike as that was the motivator to even get him to ride the balance bike and we received a response to our ad. We brought the bike home and after 3 push starts from dad, he was off and riding. The scary thing is the whole wide world just got a bit smaller:) Wish I was smart enough to download video. We have some great footage of him.


This is after nearly a month unscathed...then he gets a good face scrape when he has a wipe out, trying to jump(hop) the curb.


I am going to end this post with a prayer for Steven. Lord, I thank you so much for Steven. I thank you for the way you use him to make Justin and I better parents. Father, I ask that you would let his heart be courageous for you and that his life will be lived honoring you. I thank you for his heart, the depth of his understanding and care for others. Please help us to guide him in your ways, let him come to love you and commit his life to you at an early age Father. I lift of the special lady you have chosen for him, I pray that she is being raised to love and serve you father. I thank you for your mercy and grace. Thank you for Jesus, it is in his name I pray. AMEN.

Burnt Bacon

So Wednesday, I am making a BLT salad for CBS brunch and I over cook the bacon. I wouldn't eat it,in fact it's burnt by my standard. My kids however who rarely eat the stuff are snarffing the charred nasty down. The next round of bacon comes out and it's perfect and Steven says 'mmm this is good mommy.' I need the remaining 'perfect' bacon for the salad so I have to cut them off after a piece each. I muse as they decide to go ahead and have another piece of the burnt stuff but they never quite finish it as they had the burnt piece before.

Kind of how my life is sometimes. God gives me a good wash in the word, reveals some sin in my life, I didn't even know I had. It is like that burnt bacon, if it's the only thing you know, it's good to you, you've even acquired a taste for it that way, but then God shows you how life is meant to be and gives you a taste of the 'perfect' batch and you realize how wrong you have lived. Maybe some old habbits creep in and the next thing you know you are eating burnt bacon but this time you realize it for what it is, take it to the cross, repent and move forward in His grace, not wanting to finish the whole piece.

I love God's word, only it can do that. You can have others tell you how badly you are living or how wrong you are all day and it's ugly and makes you feel bad but NEVER, NEVER has the Lord hurt me or offended me as he leads me through some tough things. He loves me and the washing feels like a refreshing, invigorating shower and how beautiful it feels when I am finished. Now if we could just start praying for those struggling and give up our own attitiudes of "I will fix them". Maybe Jesus could radiate and not have such a tainted appearance to those who don't know his love.

Have you been in God's word today? Join a study so you have some accountablity, try one study I dare you! I haven't a doubt you too will be hooked.

Andrew AKA Batman turned 3

The entire day was devoted to Andrew's special birth day. We had birthday cereal for breakfast, you know the high sugar kind that every kids wants because of the picture on the box, birthday sandwiches at lunch, and I loved it when Steven asked, "did you get any birthday drinks?" Andrew wanted to have spaghetti for supper so we had birthday spaghetti. We had a fun afternoon getting ready to celebrate his special birthday dinner. We blew up balloons, decorated cups, made the cake and just had a wonderful afternoon working together to throw a party. The excitement built all afternoon and when dad got home from work the party started!

I was so moved by Andrews thankfulness the day after his Friday evening family only party. He woke up and said, "Thank you so much for my party, I loved it! I loved my presents too." I wept, which isn't unnatural for me:) His thankfulness filled my heart with so much emotion. As I think about it now, I wonder if that's how our Heavenly Father feels as we pour out genuine heart felt thanks for what he does, he must be moved by that. How important it is to realize where our help comes from, our blessings and our purpose and praise in thanksgiving for them.

Here are some of the birthday photos and some sweet stories of Andrew lately.

We are having the baby at the Family birthing center in New Braunfels and during our first visit there, one of the midwives let Andrew listen to his heartbeat with the stethoscope. She asked him if he could hear it, he shook his head yes and she asked him what it sounded like. He said, "I love Jesus, Jesus died on the cross for me, I love Jesus." She said is that really what it is saying, Andrew replied, "I fink so."


I am not sure why he likes batman so much but he does. Since there hasn't been a Batman movie for awhile t is difficult to find anything batman. The only request he had was party hats but dad couldn't find batman ones or plain ones so he got these...

Andrew 3 Steven 3 :)

When Andrew prays, I love his ending. It's always the same. I need to get it one video before he starts pronouncing it correctly. I am going to type it as best I can but it's not as cute. God bless Daddy, mommy, Steven, Andrew, Grandma Jean, Grandma Monica, GG GG GG and all our ankles and unkies and cousins. In Jesus name. Amen

I want to end this post with a prayer for my sweet son. Lord, thank you for blessing our lives with Andrew. Thank you for the gentleness in his heart. Lord I pray he would come to know you at an early age and they he would live his life to serve you. I lift up the girl you have chosen for Andrew, may she grow up knowing and loving you father. May your name be stamped on their hearts and right below it eachothers. Thank you for loving us, for providing us a way to know you. Thank you for you living word, may Andrew have an appetite for it. Blessed be your name Lord. We love you. In Jesus name, AMEN.

Hi ho hi ho it's off to work I go...

Well I am back at the IRS and of course I enjoy it. It has negatives and positives like every choice we make. We prayed lots about it this year and asked God to lead us down his path, we felt like "no" was the right answer but then Justin's works had some layoffs and a few executives that were kind of a surprise. The same day the execs were released, I got a call asking me to come back earlier so we prayed more and decided I should. I don't want to say to much about my job because it always seems like I have the best jobs, and I really have. I like the independence I have at work, no kids to be tracking and interrupting my conversations. Yeah right, 90% of my conversations are about family,so see they are still interrupting. LOL

My friend at work, Walley or Adewale Adeku and I have sat in front of each other for 2 seasons now. He has a beautiful pregnant wife and a very sweet daughter Elizabeth. 'Nice to see you again', Elizabeth's coined phrase. She turns 3 this month and we are excited to celebrate with her. My other friend Arnold sits across from me, this is our 3rd season together. He has a full time job by day at the state and full time nights at IRS. He is a dedicated deacon at his church and loving family member of his very large extended family. He watches TV while working, well really, he listens to it.

Arnold was watching the Diane Sawyer special on the people of the Appalachian Mountains this past week. He was moved to tears a couple times. Walley shared about being from Nigeria and the what he now knows is propaganda on the TV about America. The country he thought he was coming to and what he has encountered is very different. I was sharing with them about some families that live in South Dakota where I grew up. We have families there without electricity and running water, very impoverished areas too. I am sure this can be said on nearly everywhere in the US but we don't see that advertised anywhere.

We have people here in America without running water, without sewer, without health care, without enough to eat and without Jesus too. We don't have to go to the most remote parts of the world to see these issues. Right here in America they exist. We don't have to go very far to find them, in fact I am certain that it's right here in Austin area. Which leaves me with the big question pleading inside me, What am I doing about it?

so the world is a year older

We finally got all the Christmas stuff put up last weekend,a few fugitive snowmen somehow didn't find there way back to the boxes though. I think snowmen are okay and can stay up a while longer. I was re-reading Christmas letters and looking at the new photos with the kids. The letters always share events that have me in tears of joy as I read about all the ways God has blessed those we care so deeply for. Thank you for your cards and letters, one of these days the Konotopkas will get one sent out:)

My kids are not kids friendly..well not at Christmas anyway

Santa or not? That has been our debate for 3 years, we just never did it. We have always moved at Christmas time so haven't decorated in like 5 years. This year we have decorated, we didn't even remember what we have or didn't have. We have lots of Santa paraphenlia, when you teach you get lots of gifts like that at Christmas. Justin didn't put any out, he thought it would be confusing for the kids. My sister gave us a ton of books that had Santa in them and so they have been lloked at a nd read lots. Finally Mr. Inquisitive(Steven) says, "Mom, can reindeer really fly?" I answer honestly, "no son, it just meant to be a fun story." He continues, "Is Santa like Oliva(she is a pig and we find these books hilarious)? " "Yes Santa is made up like someone made up Olivia except Santa's story is modeled after a kind priest..." I go on and finish the story. Steven is satisfied and we go on with the day.

2 days later we are shopping at Kohls. The lady who is checking us out says, "my what good boys you have been standing in line. I bet Santa is going to be good to you this year." Steven looks at her, frowing his brow, making the usual Steven face and says, "There is no Santa." She continues, "oh yes there is, don't you believe in Santa?" "You're a liar, if you don't tell the truth then you are a liar and there is no Santa, right mommy" steven continues. It all happend so fast my head was spinning. I just smiled and said, "we celebrate Jesus's birthday at Christmas. Have a blessed season, Liar!" Just kdding I didn't say liar. I was embarrassed at first but it makes me laugh and laugh now.

I love how everything is black and white to kids. The two haven't been muddled up and there is no grey. I think it's the grey that causes us confusion and easily can stray us from God. Staying connected to the black and white of things through God's word, holding those truths and measuring all things by them will keep us close to God, which is where we all long to be(whether we acknowledge or not). The bible isn't black and white on every decision but when you are close to God, and he guides you to where He wants you, and then you're right where you are supposed to be.

In the event you forget, it's ADVENT season!

And what is it I am listening to? Third day baby! O come, O come Emmanual a beautiful advent rock song, oh err strike that, hymn. I am excited this year to celebrate advent with the kids. We have a felt nativity scene given to us by Chad and Kris Kratovil..Thanks!!! Each day(as if we have done so many) we put up a piece and talk about what significance it has. So day 1: the donkey, of course! Today(day 2) was Mary riding the donkey and sneaky Jesus gets to be in her womb so we talked about him too:) I really need to plan out the rest of the scenes and get a better felt display boad, my pillowcase on the wall is rather lame.

I bought a new picture book to give the kids yesterday and it is about the nativity. We had already read a bunch of books about Christmas and Christmas themes. I was having a great time. Steven unwraps the book and says, "Is this another book about baby Jesus? Mom, Jesus already growed up!" So we waited and read it today:) Steven's comment yesterday made me think, 'wow, at 3 years old, he knows Jesus has walked the earth, Christmas has come so to speak.' It still important to know the King came to us in a lowly manner, he is for everyone and advent literally means 'coming' and we are awaiting Christ's coming, so party up people!

I am excited for Christmas to come this year. For the first time in 5 years: I am excited for the Christmas season, we are going to decorate, I am participating in a cookie swap, and plan on passin' out the homebaked love to neighbors. I am rejoicing in my heart because Christ has called me out of darkness and into his marveouls light! Things are better, brighter and purposeful. I have a place I call home, I never thought I would say that about anywhere but where I grew up, but I feel at home here in Kyle. I have a wonderful, encouraging, handsome spouse, two sweet, compassionate, wild and fun-loving boys, a great group of friends and so many other blessings I do not deserve. I am humbled that God chose me to be apart of his family, me, full of bad thoughts, bad words and lots of other ugliness but he loves me deeply and gives me a robe of righteousness.

Maybe he's calling your heart this Christmas season, prepare Him some room!

You can get God in!

I was reading that Rev. George M. Docherty has died at 97 this week. He is known for helping to get 'under God' entered into the pledge of alliegence, before 1954 it was not present.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081129/ap_on_re/obit_docherty
How cool is that! Truth be told, I thought it was always in there since the pilgrims proclomation was so very clear that they came here to give God glory. I feel encouraged because change can and does happen. We can have God back in schools but we can't sit back quietly and do nothing, nor must we be jerks about it. When you have had God romance your heart, he does so with such care, so much love and tenderness and the mere thought of his love consumes you with good feelings, I beg to ask who wouldn't want that? Why are we not living in such a way that acknowledges that? This video series is pretty shocking, at least it was for me. My brother sent it and as I watched and prayed, I thought it important to share.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Blog/Default.aspx?id=337488

Aunt Kim is having a baby!

I have been wanting to post that on my blog for like 8 weeks. Kim is my remarkable friend, who I am sure the boys will deem one of the coolest as her degree is in Paleo and they LOVE dinos. Plus once you get to know her, she is truly one hip chick. I remember saying hi, and saying hi and reading her expression as we passed in the bathroom and it said, "you are one weird girl. I wonder why she is always saying hello to me." I befriended her roommate in a college class, and that is how I finally weaseled my way in:) She was a great confidant to me when I was working and she loves kids as much as I do. She is also a natural teacher and exceptional with kids. So yipee we are excited for you Kim and Jon! We love you guys very much! We are also glad to know you are having a boy, whawhoo the boys will love this!

Be holy, as I am holy......1 Peter 1:16

Let me start out with I love my husband, but if I had to tell you who my first choice of the "completely never going to happen" boyfriend list is, it's Peter. Yes, Peter from the Bible, so I am weird, like you, didn't already know that.

I am just finishing up with 1st and 2nd Peter 12 week study and it has been an amazing journey. Beautiful promises, big aaaaHA!s and new prescriptions(seeing things more clearly). 2 Peter 1:3 states: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

I remember 3 weeks ago being 'WOWed" by that. I remember talking it over with Justin and sharing this dialog: What? I can't say, "your only human" to my sweet sister in Christ anymore? No more using Romans 3:23 for the perpetual bandaid of missing the mark? I NEVER knew that! I knew I shouldn't feel defeated because Jesus wins, he already came here, over came sin and death and he will come again and his kingdom has NO END. We shouldn't have the defeated mind set at all as we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. Thank you Jesus! SO now what, well what does the bible say ENCOURAGE one another! Love one another! I need to Jesus work on those things in me.

So a few weeks pass, we leave for vacation. I am in God's word at the farm as there are no distractions there. I didn't take my adress book or phone numbers so since I only have like 2 peoples number's memorized and HORRIBLE cell reception I wasn't calling(just an FYI) It was nice. The prayer was great, I had time to journal, to think, to let the Holy Spirit sort it out for me. God is good! I get to see some dear friends in Rapid City, 2 of my friends have daughters 1.5 and 2 and it was so cute to see them play and their excitement to see one another, much like the excitement their moms display when they greet one another. I feel joy as I type that thought. I love those ladies Steph and Jenn. I see Christ in them, he works through them in beautiful ways.

Vacation gets a little busy, God's word is MIA a couple days, then an entire week. I am in shock and stunned by things I notice, see, hear, they flood me, and it's all I can see, hear and the shock turns to depression. I am in a funk. Everywhere I look I see only sin and anguish and darkness and it is taking it's toll on me. I go to church on Sunday and the priest says, "it's not about a personal relationship with Jesus, it's about a relationship with the church that brings you into commune with the Lord." "What is going on ?" I am thining and I look aroud the sanctuary hoping to see one person in as much shock as I am but I don't. I rush home to tell Justin and he says, "yes does that surprise you? That is what they believe." My feathers get ruffled from this response and his delivery and by now my eyes are completely on myself and what I see(I forget, I only see because he has given me new lens) and I don't take any of this to Jesus, there is only dispair and I am having a rough time. I have no way to process and I just see all this terrible stuff all around, and I get so caught up in it that I forget, I know the person who knows all the answers and I am not praying. Then it's late(after midnight) and we are walking to mom's from my sister's(less then a block and accross the street) and there is a man walking behind us about 100 yeards. He is bundled up as it's cold, we can't see his features as it's dark and he is hidden in his coat and hood. He is using this strange voice and saying things like, "I am going to get you, I am going to kill you" and I TOTALLY loose it inside! I can't get inside my mom's fast enough, I can't get the door locked or even shut and Justin has to help me. He can tell now that I am scared and freaked out. He couldn't make out anything the man was saying, only that he had a weird voice and he was completely unbothered by the whole incidence and I was terrified. As I am lying in bed, I realize that I hadn't even thought to pray or acknowledge that Jesus was there with me. This isn't my usual response, I am usually the calm, prayerful person and Jesus is more to the top of the list of my thoughts, words and I never would have guessed I would be writing this type of story, not after all the promises God has given me.

This morning I am studying and recalling events of the trip, I am confessing my transgressions, my innappropriate actions and responses, but mostly my doubting of my Savior. I finish up praying and go back to reading and this is my scripture: Hebrews 10:35-39:So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

Surround yourselves with others who will encourage you Biblically correct, not politically correct ways. I loved visiting but it's good to be home.

Playing for the opposing team

It was junior high, we were playing another small town and I threw the ball in bounds. Our goal was at the other end of the court and nearly all players from both teams were heading that way. For some reason the other guard I threw the ball to thought, "alright I am wide open," shot the two footer, un-tended goal and SCORED! but it was 2 points for the other team.

Have you ever done that? Worked for the other team Satan without even knowing it or worse yet knowing it. Are we doing that now? I am. I am sure there are so many of the areas of my life that are wrong, not Christ centered and each one will bring me to my knees as he reveals them. I am trying to justify our participation in Halloween and the first clue it's wrong is the justifing part. Clearly the origins of Halloween are from evil, sugar coat it with all the candy you want, it is not a holiday that celebrated Christ and was turned evil. As a member of the body of Christ, I want so badly to eat my cake and have it too BUT it's not possible. I love creativity, I love making costumes, I love make believe. I love my friends who are having the Halloween party and for those reasons I want to celebrate a holiday that allows all of those creative outlets for me but am I desesitizing my kids to evil? Am I just like everyone else saying, it's okay, we don't believe the pagan stuff and subjecting my innocent lambs to pure evil and unhealthy fear?

This happend to me two weeks ago and I wanted to share. We were watching "The Little Mermaid" and there is a part where Ariel falls asleep on the rock and Sabastian pats her head and says, "You are a hopeless child, hopeless." I got sick to my heart, I turned of the tele and spoke to the kids about Jesus. Hopeless is not a word for me or my family, we will never be without hope because we have a savior, Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3-5:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

I shared this at my group at CBS when were talking do you ever feel freakish because of Christ, and honestly my reaction to Ariel freaked my own self out, no telling what it's doing to all of you reading this. I am the freaky girl, the one who continued with, 'how about participating in pagan holidays or homeschooling, I think Christians who do that because they love the Lord definatley feel set a part." After the discussion group ended one of the ladies sat with me and she said, "I won't let them take beautiful things like harvest and sweet costumes and beautiful music and turn it evil. I won't give Satan the satisfaction." Initially I thought, "yeah, I won't either. I am making Halloween costumes but after much prayer, here are some of the thoughts that came.

Halloween has evil roots, it isn't like Christmas and loosing it's meaning through Santa(lies, did you know Santa and Satan share the same letters?) and holiday perfection stress, Halloween was never meant to Glorify God. God doesn't instruct us to try and turn evil into good, ONLY God can use bad for good, infact he clearly tells us to flee, run and get away from evil. Little Mermaid, is it wholesome with beautiful music? hmmm Well, she wishes for something she doesn't have(coveting) she trades her soul..I mean voice to get it and there's still the messages in the music. The music uses words like luck(God's soveriegn, there is no such thing), mood prepared, you want her, she wants you, know just kiss the girl(are my kids old enough to see that?), the ursala song about her admitting she was nasty and repenting yet still she is evil and has evil intent(is this where grace covers all stems from? grace the big bandaid for not letting God's word transform you and doing whatever you want knowing you are forgiven?), wishing I could be part of their world(coveting song) BUT they do counteract that with Under the sea, which is about grass always being greener on the other side.

So though I do love my CBS friend and she is most definately on the Lord's team, she may have shot at the wrong basket, though this time she missed because I feel strong conviction about the whole thing and Little Mermaid is still out! As for Halloween? Well Justin and I are working on seeing eye to eye, outcome still to be announced.

Hospitality...She's the woman!

This is Jean Konotopka, mother of Tasha and Justin Konotopka, grandmother of Kaitlyn, Jocelyn, Steven and Andrew, wife of the late Timothy Konotopka and my precious Mother in law. I have been studying about the gifts of Spirit and when I got to hospitality the first person into my mind was Jean. God has given her the ability for you to honestly feel like you are in your own home(if you of course like your home) or a great retreat area, where you feel peace, rest and comfort.

I think the Archbishop of Canterbury, Fredrick Donald Coggan says it best: "Hospitality is the art of making people feel at home, when you wish they were." She does that and I admire that quality. So many people return to the Konotopka farm and yearn to return to it because of her hospitality, she makes everyone feel welcome and loved. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was raised by Benedictine monks, they have a practice of receiving all guest as if they were Christ.

I will use what God has shown me both in the Bible and in life to strive to be more hospitable to all. I know I need work desperately in this area, so it's a good thing we are going to SD in less than a month, I can get some more lessons from Jean.

They said No! We won't worship idols...

This is one of the GREAT songs from Karen and kids, did I mention that they have GREAT songs!!! Check them out!

http://www.karenandkids.com/

I love to hear my kids singing God's truth, not only does it sing right to my soul but my thoughts are continually on God's promises and instruction. I think Karen does a wonderful job of sharing scripture with kids(and adults), she also has a radio program which I looking forward to partaking with my kids when they are a bit older.

Ask Steven to tell you who wouldn't bow down and worship idols? It's fun to hear him say Shadrack, Meshack and Abendego.