He has taken my hand...and all I can say is His Love endures forever!

It was a rough last week, but worth every trying minute. He has begun a good work in me and has promised to complete it when I see Jesus. Thank you Jesus, keep working in me, stay with me for with out you I am wrong.


So here is a brief synapses of what happened this past week: Andrew fell in the pool and wasn't seen, God's LOVE compelled me to thanksgiving and praise(on my knees, on my face, if you have ever been compelled you know the deep emotion running through you), God tells me to apologize for lying, I obey, Steven is bitten severely(more than 20 bites) by fire ants and has an anaphylactic reaction, 911 is called and he goes to Dell Children's hospital, Andrew runs high fever for 3 days, Steven started running high temp during Andrews second day...

I gave apologies to those in my life group, I still have one to speak with and will do so when he returns. I lied. The lie glorified ME, made me look better or so my flesh said. No one would know but my God knows and what should have been his shinning moment, I stole. God loves me and has been preparing my heart for about 2 months for what he asked me to do and what he showed me about myself. It a beautiful thing when you are called by God to do something and then to see how his hand has been guiding you for months getting you ready for what he has told you to do. Its humbling to know he loves me so much and he cares so much and it makes me want to live better.

I have been praying for over a year for God to humble me, work on me and he is and as I said earlier, it's not easy. It hurts and it's hard and I pray that he continues. For pride is poisonous and full of deceit, and I pray Jesus will smash it. Empty me, so I can be a polished vessel of the holy, and living Spirit of God. I pray that others will know that I belong to Him from the light that shines within my heart. The best thing that has happened over the past year is that my mind is constantly on Him, I think about myself less, the more focused I am on the price Jesus paid for me, the more my thoughts are of Him. I hate the sin that lives with me and in me. I am compelled to say thank you Him for taking my place. His loves compels me.

My new favorite song that I could play all day long is Ruin Me by Jeff Johnson. I sing and weep because my heart longs to be his heart. I am on a long walk with Jesus, he is helping me cut the bindings from my limbs. A while back, I spoke about the condemnation I put myself and family through. In searching to understand His grace, I found this message from John 15:1-17 very moving. The depth of that passage and all the ways it has spoken to me and all the meanings there are MIND blowing. God BLOWS me away!


I am so blown away I know this next piece is going to be confusing, but I will try to organize it the best I can.
I have been struggling with weight for a number of years now and without Jesus, I will continue to struggle. Add Jesus to the equation and he will remove what isn't supposed to be here and by his grace I am allowed to be me. He doesn't love me less because of this weakness, it's in this weakness He is made strong.

I am mesmerized by the whole piece(back to John 15) right now and am having a difficult time organizing my thoughts to be able to convey my thoughts. In John 15 Jesus talks about vines and I was reading about grafting of plants on Wikipedia:) There is a message if what is to come there(Crucifixion) and also just grafting in general what it does. When a branch is grafted to a vine a cut is made and the branch is pushed into the vine, so that the sap can flow to the branch and the two continue to grow together until they are fused. Jesus has telling of himself, yet again letting us know he is the only way to God. He knew he would be pierced and blood would have to flow into us for us to have eternal life. We would have to be fused with him. Wikipedia said that grafting makes plants stronger, bear plentiful and superior fruits, maintain consistency, curiosities(you want people to wonder what's different about you), repair, hardiness, I find the whole passage refreshing and SO beautiful. God is Love, he loves me and wants me to have a relationship and I am so glad.

I want to end this blog with this quote from Jerry Bridges, was president of the Navigators:“Preach the gospel to yourself, you continually face up to your own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through faith in His shed blood and righteous life.”