My kids are not kids friendly..well not at Christmas anyway

Santa or not? That has been our debate for 3 years, we just never did it. We have always moved at Christmas time so haven't decorated in like 5 years. This year we have decorated, we didn't even remember what we have or didn't have. We have lots of Santa paraphenlia, when you teach you get lots of gifts like that at Christmas. Justin didn't put any out, he thought it would be confusing for the kids. My sister gave us a ton of books that had Santa in them and so they have been lloked at a nd read lots. Finally Mr. Inquisitive(Steven) says, "Mom, can reindeer really fly?" I answer honestly, "no son, it just meant to be a fun story." He continues, "Is Santa like Oliva(she is a pig and we find these books hilarious)? " "Yes Santa is made up like someone made up Olivia except Santa's story is modeled after a kind priest..." I go on and finish the story. Steven is satisfied and we go on with the day.

2 days later we are shopping at Kohls. The lady who is checking us out says, "my what good boys you have been standing in line. I bet Santa is going to be good to you this year." Steven looks at her, frowing his brow, making the usual Steven face and says, "There is no Santa." She continues, "oh yes there is, don't you believe in Santa?" "You're a liar, if you don't tell the truth then you are a liar and there is no Santa, right mommy" steven continues. It all happend so fast my head was spinning. I just smiled and said, "we celebrate Jesus's birthday at Christmas. Have a blessed season, Liar!" Just kdding I didn't say liar. I was embarrassed at first but it makes me laugh and laugh now.

I love how everything is black and white to kids. The two haven't been muddled up and there is no grey. I think it's the grey that causes us confusion and easily can stray us from God. Staying connected to the black and white of things through God's word, holding those truths and measuring all things by them will keep us close to God, which is where we all long to be(whether we acknowledge or not). The bible isn't black and white on every decision but when you are close to God, and he guides you to where He wants you, and then you're right where you are supposed to be.

In the event you forget, it's ADVENT season!

And what is it I am listening to? Third day baby! O come, O come Emmanual a beautiful advent rock song, oh err strike that, hymn. I am excited this year to celebrate advent with the kids. We have a felt nativity scene given to us by Chad and Kris Kratovil..Thanks!!! Each day(as if we have done so many) we put up a piece and talk about what significance it has. So day 1: the donkey, of course! Today(day 2) was Mary riding the donkey and sneaky Jesus gets to be in her womb so we talked about him too:) I really need to plan out the rest of the scenes and get a better felt display boad, my pillowcase on the wall is rather lame.

I bought a new picture book to give the kids yesterday and it is about the nativity. We had already read a bunch of books about Christmas and Christmas themes. I was having a great time. Steven unwraps the book and says, "Is this another book about baby Jesus? Mom, Jesus already growed up!" So we waited and read it today:) Steven's comment yesterday made me think, 'wow, at 3 years old, he knows Jesus has walked the earth, Christmas has come so to speak.' It still important to know the King came to us in a lowly manner, he is for everyone and advent literally means 'coming' and we are awaiting Christ's coming, so party up people!

I am excited for Christmas to come this year. For the first time in 5 years: I am excited for the Christmas season, we are going to decorate, I am participating in a cookie swap, and plan on passin' out the homebaked love to neighbors. I am rejoicing in my heart because Christ has called me out of darkness and into his marveouls light! Things are better, brighter and purposeful. I have a place I call home, I never thought I would say that about anywhere but where I grew up, but I feel at home here in Kyle. I have a wonderful, encouraging, handsome spouse, two sweet, compassionate, wild and fun-loving boys, a great group of friends and so many other blessings I do not deserve. I am humbled that God chose me to be apart of his family, me, full of bad thoughts, bad words and lots of other ugliness but he loves me deeply and gives me a robe of righteousness.

Maybe he's calling your heart this Christmas season, prepare Him some room!

You can get God in!

I was reading that Rev. George M. Docherty has died at 97 this week. He is known for helping to get 'under God' entered into the pledge of alliegence, before 1954 it was not present.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081129/ap_on_re/obit_docherty
How cool is that! Truth be told, I thought it was always in there since the pilgrims proclomation was so very clear that they came here to give God glory. I feel encouraged because change can and does happen. We can have God back in schools but we can't sit back quietly and do nothing, nor must we be jerks about it. When you have had God romance your heart, he does so with such care, so much love and tenderness and the mere thought of his love consumes you with good feelings, I beg to ask who wouldn't want that? Why are we not living in such a way that acknowledges that? This video series is pretty shocking, at least it was for me. My brother sent it and as I watched and prayed, I thought it important to share.
http://www.onenewsnow.com/Blog/Default.aspx?id=337488

Aunt Kim is having a baby!

I have been wanting to post that on my blog for like 8 weeks. Kim is my remarkable friend, who I am sure the boys will deem one of the coolest as her degree is in Paleo and they LOVE dinos. Plus once you get to know her, she is truly one hip chick. I remember saying hi, and saying hi and reading her expression as we passed in the bathroom and it said, "you are one weird girl. I wonder why she is always saying hello to me." I befriended her roommate in a college class, and that is how I finally weaseled my way in:) She was a great confidant to me when I was working and she loves kids as much as I do. She is also a natural teacher and exceptional with kids. So yipee we are excited for you Kim and Jon! We love you guys very much! We are also glad to know you are having a boy, whawhoo the boys will love this!

Be holy, as I am holy......1 Peter 1:16

Let me start out with I love my husband, but if I had to tell you who my first choice of the "completely never going to happen" boyfriend list is, it's Peter. Yes, Peter from the Bible, so I am weird, like you, didn't already know that.

I am just finishing up with 1st and 2nd Peter 12 week study and it has been an amazing journey. Beautiful promises, big aaaaHA!s and new prescriptions(seeing things more clearly). 2 Peter 1:3 states: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

I remember 3 weeks ago being 'WOWed" by that. I remember talking it over with Justin and sharing this dialog: What? I can't say, "your only human" to my sweet sister in Christ anymore? No more using Romans 3:23 for the perpetual bandaid of missing the mark? I NEVER knew that! I knew I shouldn't feel defeated because Jesus wins, he already came here, over came sin and death and he will come again and his kingdom has NO END. We shouldn't have the defeated mind set at all as we have been given everything we need for life and godliness. Thank you Jesus! SO now what, well what does the bible say ENCOURAGE one another! Love one another! I need to Jesus work on those things in me.

So a few weeks pass, we leave for vacation. I am in God's word at the farm as there are no distractions there. I didn't take my adress book or phone numbers so since I only have like 2 peoples number's memorized and HORRIBLE cell reception I wasn't calling(just an FYI) It was nice. The prayer was great, I had time to journal, to think, to let the Holy Spirit sort it out for me. God is good! I get to see some dear friends in Rapid City, 2 of my friends have daughters 1.5 and 2 and it was so cute to see them play and their excitement to see one another, much like the excitement their moms display when they greet one another. I feel joy as I type that thought. I love those ladies Steph and Jenn. I see Christ in them, he works through them in beautiful ways.

Vacation gets a little busy, God's word is MIA a couple days, then an entire week. I am in shock and stunned by things I notice, see, hear, they flood me, and it's all I can see, hear and the shock turns to depression. I am in a funk. Everywhere I look I see only sin and anguish and darkness and it is taking it's toll on me. I go to church on Sunday and the priest says, "it's not about a personal relationship with Jesus, it's about a relationship with the church that brings you into commune with the Lord." "What is going on ?" I am thining and I look aroud the sanctuary hoping to see one person in as much shock as I am but I don't. I rush home to tell Justin and he says, "yes does that surprise you? That is what they believe." My feathers get ruffled from this response and his delivery and by now my eyes are completely on myself and what I see(I forget, I only see because he has given me new lens) and I don't take any of this to Jesus, there is only dispair and I am having a rough time. I have no way to process and I just see all this terrible stuff all around, and I get so caught up in it that I forget, I know the person who knows all the answers and I am not praying. Then it's late(after midnight) and we are walking to mom's from my sister's(less then a block and accross the street) and there is a man walking behind us about 100 yeards. He is bundled up as it's cold, we can't see his features as it's dark and he is hidden in his coat and hood. He is using this strange voice and saying things like, "I am going to get you, I am going to kill you" and I TOTALLY loose it inside! I can't get inside my mom's fast enough, I can't get the door locked or even shut and Justin has to help me. He can tell now that I am scared and freaked out. He couldn't make out anything the man was saying, only that he had a weird voice and he was completely unbothered by the whole incidence and I was terrified. As I am lying in bed, I realize that I hadn't even thought to pray or acknowledge that Jesus was there with me. This isn't my usual response, I am usually the calm, prayerful person and Jesus is more to the top of the list of my thoughts, words and I never would have guessed I would be writing this type of story, not after all the promises God has given me.

This morning I am studying and recalling events of the trip, I am confessing my transgressions, my innappropriate actions and responses, but mostly my doubting of my Savior. I finish up praying and go back to reading and this is my scripture: Hebrews 10:35-39:So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For in just a very little while, "He who is coming will come and will not delay. But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him."But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

Surround yourselves with others who will encourage you Biblically correct, not politically correct ways. I loved visiting but it's good to be home.

Playing for the opposing team

It was junior high, we were playing another small town and I threw the ball in bounds. Our goal was at the other end of the court and nearly all players from both teams were heading that way. For some reason the other guard I threw the ball to thought, "alright I am wide open," shot the two footer, un-tended goal and SCORED! but it was 2 points for the other team.

Have you ever done that? Worked for the other team Satan without even knowing it or worse yet knowing it. Are we doing that now? I am. I am sure there are so many of the areas of my life that are wrong, not Christ centered and each one will bring me to my knees as he reveals them. I am trying to justify our participation in Halloween and the first clue it's wrong is the justifing part. Clearly the origins of Halloween are from evil, sugar coat it with all the candy you want, it is not a holiday that celebrated Christ and was turned evil. As a member of the body of Christ, I want so badly to eat my cake and have it too BUT it's not possible. I love creativity, I love making costumes, I love make believe. I love my friends who are having the Halloween party and for those reasons I want to celebrate a holiday that allows all of those creative outlets for me but am I desesitizing my kids to evil? Am I just like everyone else saying, it's okay, we don't believe the pagan stuff and subjecting my innocent lambs to pure evil and unhealthy fear?

This happend to me two weeks ago and I wanted to share. We were watching "The Little Mermaid" and there is a part where Ariel falls asleep on the rock and Sabastian pats her head and says, "You are a hopeless child, hopeless." I got sick to my heart, I turned of the tele and spoke to the kids about Jesus. Hopeless is not a word for me or my family, we will never be without hope because we have a savior, Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:3-5:Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

I shared this at my group at CBS when were talking do you ever feel freakish because of Christ, and honestly my reaction to Ariel freaked my own self out, no telling what it's doing to all of you reading this. I am the freaky girl, the one who continued with, 'how about participating in pagan holidays or homeschooling, I think Christians who do that because they love the Lord definatley feel set a part." After the discussion group ended one of the ladies sat with me and she said, "I won't let them take beautiful things like harvest and sweet costumes and beautiful music and turn it evil. I won't give Satan the satisfaction." Initially I thought, "yeah, I won't either. I am making Halloween costumes but after much prayer, here are some of the thoughts that came.

Halloween has evil roots, it isn't like Christmas and loosing it's meaning through Santa(lies, did you know Santa and Satan share the same letters?) and holiday perfection stress, Halloween was never meant to Glorify God. God doesn't instruct us to try and turn evil into good, ONLY God can use bad for good, infact he clearly tells us to flee, run and get away from evil. Little Mermaid, is it wholesome with beautiful music? hmmm Well, she wishes for something she doesn't have(coveting) she trades her soul..I mean voice to get it and there's still the messages in the music. The music uses words like luck(God's soveriegn, there is no such thing), mood prepared, you want her, she wants you, know just kiss the girl(are my kids old enough to see that?), the ursala song about her admitting she was nasty and repenting yet still she is evil and has evil intent(is this where grace covers all stems from? grace the big bandaid for not letting God's word transform you and doing whatever you want knowing you are forgiven?), wishing I could be part of their world(coveting song) BUT they do counteract that with Under the sea, which is about grass always being greener on the other side.

So though I do love my CBS friend and she is most definately on the Lord's team, she may have shot at the wrong basket, though this time she missed because I feel strong conviction about the whole thing and Little Mermaid is still out! As for Halloween? Well Justin and I are working on seeing eye to eye, outcome still to be announced.

Hospitality...She's the woman!

This is Jean Konotopka, mother of Tasha and Justin Konotopka, grandmother of Kaitlyn, Jocelyn, Steven and Andrew, wife of the late Timothy Konotopka and my precious Mother in law. I have been studying about the gifts of Spirit and when I got to hospitality the first person into my mind was Jean. God has given her the ability for you to honestly feel like you are in your own home(if you of course like your home) or a great retreat area, where you feel peace, rest and comfort.

I think the Archbishop of Canterbury, Fredrick Donald Coggan says it best: "Hospitality is the art of making people feel at home, when you wish they were." She does that and I admire that quality. So many people return to the Konotopka farm and yearn to return to it because of her hospitality, she makes everyone feel welcome and loved. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was raised by Benedictine monks, they have a practice of receiving all guest as if they were Christ.

I will use what God has shown me both in the Bible and in life to strive to be more hospitable to all. I know I need work desperately in this area, so it's a good thing we are going to SD in less than a month, I can get some more lessons from Jean.

They said No! We won't worship idols...

This is one of the GREAT songs from Karen and kids, did I mention that they have GREAT songs!!! Check them out!

http://www.karenandkids.com/

I love to hear my kids singing God's truth, not only does it sing right to my soul but my thoughts are continually on God's promises and instruction. I think Karen does a wonderful job of sharing scripture with kids(and adults), she also has a radio program which I looking forward to partaking with my kids when they are a bit older.

Ask Steven to tell you who wouldn't bow down and worship idols? It's fun to hear him say Shadrack, Meshack and Abendego.

A camping we will go, a camping we will go..hiho the

The camping trip was oh so much fun! I was delighted that the kids entertained themselves so well just hanging out in nature. They REALLY enjoyed throwing rocks in the lake. Steven is still talking about it, now camping and rock throwing are one in the same. Here is Andrew, Steven, Kyle and Isabelle. The Fahs children are VERY obedient, good kids and we are glad they are influencing our boys.
I have to confess that Christine and I left nature to shop...LOL That's right, we were less than a mile from shopping, though we just went to a Christian book store, Target and a grocery store. When you camp in SD or pretty much anywhere I can think of, there isn't a metro shopping complex right outside the campsites, so that was a first, and I did like that.






Stand back! He's all mine girls...Who knows what my fun loving husband was doing but now he is doing it on my blog. I am so proud.

Here is the Fahs family, check out Christine's blog from my links. She and her husband are very passionate for the Lord, they have two children that also love the Lord and a third child we are praying that will also follow in His footsteps. It's neat to be around kids who haven't grown up thinking God is a cosmic vending machine and that you only go there when they you something. These kids are going into their public schools making a stand for Christ, they don't celebrate Halloween and I am sure for 8 and 6 that isn't always the easiest being so different BUT they are learning what it means to live lives set a part.

Jesus tells us to live in the world but not be of the world(John 15:18-26). I don't think I realized what that fully what meant for much of my 'Christian' life and I am not the only Christian who was/is living this way. Statistics tend to back this up. Christians get divorced at the same rate as the rest of the world, they drink the same alcohol, they use the same language, they watch the same tele shows and movies, and share in the same gossip. We are living the same lives as the rest of the world. Are we afraid to be different? Have we bought Satan's lie that it is a bad thing to be different than everyone else? If our answers are yes than Satan has us right where he needs us, effectively working for him because he knows that when Christians live lives set apart they become great witnesses for the cause of Christ. You are the only Bible that some people will ever read and if your words are written the same as theirs then they see no reason to turn to Jesus.

Cheers to you Christine and Frank for raising your children differently and in a way that honors and glorifies the Lord! Cheers to the rest of you that are also trying to make a break from ways of the world, it's not easy but all things are possible with Christ who strengthens you. (Phil 4:13)If we can be praying for you and your family in someway please email us and we would be glad to join you in petitioning the Lord.

Finally of the Konotopka Family....

Girl from the Prairie

Here we are in Bertram at the Oatmeal festival. We rode the train from Ceder Park to Bertram and back. We went on August 29 with our friends Heike, Lou and Kobe. It was small town fun, like where we grew up. They dropped oatmeal from a plane, so it was like oatmeal snow flakes. It was our first experience in oatmeal snow. Heike took some amazing pictures of buildings and stuff that didn't look cool to me until I saw her photos. Amazing what we can and can't see though looking at the same scenery. Kids enjoyed catching candy at the parade.

This week at CBS(Community Bible Study) we had a brunch instead of opening lecture and worship. The topic was, "how did you grow up and how has it influenced your life?" There are 15 of us and we have about 45 minutes to share. Everyone around the table had grown up in a small town(they were talking 3-5K being small). It was so neat to hear about everyones lives and what they chose to share. I really enjoy the ladies in my group, they are very charming and sweet.

I took some time to think about what to share. I was overwhelmed with memories and what to share. 3 minutes isn't much for a childhood but I gave it my best stab. "I grew up near an Indian Reservation, my mom has taught on that reservation for over 30 years. My hometown was small less than 500 people. My graduating class was 22, 11 boys and 11 girls, we always had a date for all the dances. The best thing that small town living instilled in me was trust and how to trust. We never locked our doors at night, keys stayed in vehicle ignitions, and you could trust that if you were out causing trouble your mom would know it before you got home. (I sound like I am 75 as I write that sentence, but it is so true. I remember Sarah Schmidt teaching me how to drive the Chevy Luv stick shift, I think I was 13.5 and she was 14.5(so she had gotten her permit 6 months earlier). Someone spied us and called her parents before we even got back to her house. Mom and Dad #2 were great, I can't even remember if there was repercussions.) That value of trust is defiantly a transferable skill. I trust God, I know he will work all things for good and I am confident that he does as he promises."

I grew up thinking everyone cared about me. We rode bikes everywhere(in a town of 600 that's like 8 blocks, everywhere might not be the best word). It was 2.1 miles around our town, great distance to run and if you needed to go further you could head out pea lane to gain mileage and new scenery. Ahh the memories flood me and wrap around me like a blanket. I have good memories of life growing up in small town South Dakota and many friends who still live there. Would I move back? Yes, of course, I think it would be great for my kids to have some of the same experiences but I also know they are making their own memories and some day they will have a different, yet just as cozy memory blanket to wrap up with.

I want to share one of my favorite stories is If you're not from the Prairie, and just to let you know I married a boy from the prairie and the pictures in this book are great...

If you're not from the prairie, you don't know the sun, you can't know the sun.

Diamonds that bounce off crisp winter snow

Warm waters in dugouts and lakes that we know

The sun is our friend from when we were young

A child of the prairie is part of the sun

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sun.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the wind, you can't know the wind.

Our cold winds of winter cut right to the core

Hot summer wind devils can blow down the door

As children we know when we play any game

The wind will be there yet we play just the same

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the wind.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sky, you can't know the sky

The bold prairie sky is clear bright and blue

Though sometimes cloud messages give us a clue

Monstrous grey mushrooms can hint of a storm

Or painted pink feathers say good bye to the warm

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the sky.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know what's flat, you've never seen flat

When travellers pass through across our great plain

They all view our home they all say the same"It's simple and flat!"

They've not learned to see

The particular beauty that's now part of me

If you're not from the prairie you don't know what's flat.

If you're not from the prairie you've not heard the grass you've never heard grass

In strong summer winds, the grains and grass bend

And sway to a dance that seems never to end

It whispers its secrets - they tell of this land

And the rhythm of life played by nature's own hand

If you're not from the prairie, you've never heard grass.

So you're not from the prairie and yet you know snow you think you know snow?

Blizzards bring danger as legends have told

In deep drifts we roughhouse, ignoring the cold

At times we look out at great seas of white

So bright is the sun that we squeeze our eyes tight

If you're not from the prairie you don't know snow.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know our trees you can't know our trees

The trees that we know have taken so long

To live through our seasons to grow tall and strong

They're loved and they're treasured we watched as they grew

We knew they were special - the prairie has few

If you're not from the prairie you don't know our trees.

Still you're not from the prairie and yet you know cold..you say you've been cold?

Do you know what to do to relieve so much pain

Of burning from deep down that drives you insane?

Your ears and your hands right into your toes

A child who's been cold on the prairie will know

Of all of those memories we share when we're old

None are more clear then that hard bitter cold

You'll not find among us a soul who can say"I've conquered the wind on a cold winter's day"

If you're not from the prairie you don't know the cold you've never been cold.

If you're not from the prairie you don't know me you just can't know ME.

You see, my hair's mostly wind, my eyes filled with grit,

My skin's red or brown and my lips chapped and split

I've lain on the prairie and heard grasses sigh

Ive stared at the cast open bowl of the sky

I've seen all those castles and faces in clouds

My home is the prairie and I cry out loud

If you're not from the prairie you can't know my soul

You don't know our blizzards, you've not fought our cold

You can't know my mind, nor even my heart

Unless deep within you, there's somehow a part

A part of these things that I've said that I know

The wind, sky and earth, the storms and the snow

Best say you have - and then we'll be one

For we will have shared that same blazing sun.

Do as I say, not as I do....

I think we've all seen and understood that phrase now in adulthood. You don't have to think very hard to find someone who contradicts themselves, in fact I may be my own worst witness. My buddy Peter heeds me that this morning:
1 Peter 3: 8-12 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For,
"Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

I like that is says seek and pursue, confirming that it won't always be easy and yes, you may even want to be evil but go and get the peace and don't look back, chase the peace. Again I am reminded how important it is to have some balance and that what I say isn't nearly as important as what I do. Words come easy and actions, well they take pursuit!

On a bit of a turn, this morning Andrew called to Justin as he and Frank were leaving, Justin came back in and Andrew says, "Don't forget your gwaffes daddy." "Thanks son, I don't need them this morning, I have my contacts in." "Oh, okay daddy." Can you believe at 2 he observed Justin wasn't wearing glasses? It was mind blowing and I had already been reflecting on the passage above this morning, I think how many times my kids have heard blessings and curses come out of my mouth and that should not be! (James 3:9-10) They observe so much more than I realize, and more and more I realize I dearly am in need of a savior.

We have been 'practice' camping in the back yard the past two nights. It has been fun. Dad had to bail on us last night as the declaration of night noises for an hour was more than he could bare and in his defense, he had to be at work functioning. I awoke before the boys today, which is not the norm. So I slipped in to the warm house, and started my quiet time with God and the sweetest memory unfolded before my eyes. It was just dawn, the sun is up and I hear my sweet boys talking and giggling, then the unZIP of the tent, and I look to see them coming, huge smiles and their headlamps, turned on of course, it was kind of dark. They were beaming with happiness and I melt in the emotion now as I type. Lord, let me remember this morning for forever.

I am so excited about camping this weekend. We are going with some friends, it will be a blast I am certain! On a side note, I never remember hurting from sleeping on the ground, I remember living for the summer to get here so I could backpack and now I am in pain and wondering why can't I remember the pain, so does extra weight make it that much worse? Was I always in pain, some of you have spent many a night camping/packing with me, did it hurt? Crazy!

Here are some new photos(Thanks Tanya Livingston for loaning me the card reader)

Steven and Hank the Amazing flying hamster.

DoodoodooDOOO! Introducing King Andrew!

Life before children.....

I know my postings get pretty wordy so I am going to try to imput photos, but none are recent as I still after 9 months can't find the camera cord. I have 800 pictures to get off my camera! So here are some very old photos.

Every year before we had kids, we had pumpkin carving contests. I was going to post all of them but Justin felt shamed out by some of them and said this one from 2004, I could show. I of course won EVERY year. Oh the hours of taunting eachother about who was going to win and trying to sneak peaks at what the other was doing. I smile and feel and am filled with warm fuzzies. Good times. As we gear up for our marriage course that begins this weekend, I am excited to just have a scheduled day everyweek to give my full attention to my spouse. It gets difficult to prioritize and keep eachother right at the top under God. Some times those two sweet boys try to trump dad, but I am on to their tricks.

Here is a photo of the front of our house, thank goodness you can't see the garage. It's a good house and you know what the $20 faucet from home dept that is in our sink actually functions. I thought you had to spend at least $550 to do that. Those of you that know about our idol, I mean home know exactly what I am talking about. Thankfully after our last home, I feel like we have learned a few things. Let me share some of the MANY lessons learned:

1) Wholeheartidly consult God first, he may say no and if he does, we advise you listen.

2) If you have a budget, buy everything as under the actual budgeted cost as you can. If your budget is $100 for doors, ask to see all the $60 doors first and NEVER, I repeat NEVER look at $110 doors.

I am using doors as an example but if could be anything on your budget.

3)Don't work full time jobs and have your first baby while trying to learn how to be a plumber. Scratch that, don't try to be every type of building expert needed to build a house (ie: electrician, carpenter, framer) if you are doing any of first things listed previously. Some times the education, ie school of hard knocks, is actually more expensive than having the real deal come and complete it the first time.

4) Cheap light fixtures, cheap faucets and cheap carpet actually do, do the job. Who knew?

Idol in the rough.....This is Oct 2004. This is before we melted all our gold down to make the calf. I am compelled to thank all of the WONDERFUL family and friends who came out and helped us and loved us during this time. And the Thanks be to our heavenly father for delivering us through it, you are to merciful. For some reason I have no photos of the completed calf from the outside. Here is one from the kitchen and it's 9 foot island...
This one is from the loft outside the master bedroom french doors. Can you see those sconces? I am shamelessly going to tell you this, they were $800, hand blown from Italy and shipped over on a blue whale! They hyped up how beatiful the accent lighting would be, in reality the plexiglass ones would have had the same effect, shipping back to italy on a blue whale was too expensive! Oh how sad and wasteful!



Here is Steven when he was 2 days old. AHHHH, his nick name until he was about 14 months was 'Mr skinny guy' and after that he is known around our house as Peeky, but he prefers Steven.

Andrew at 2 days old, Steven 11 months and now ....my shining moment. I had been eating lots of Chinese. LOL

I am procrastinating taking care of some things but the trip down memory lane(old photo files) has been fun!

I propose a change...

Everyone one knows the song..."Go tell it on the mountain..." I believe we should change the words to sing, "Go show it on the mountain." If we don't live our lives to reflect the truths we profess to believe, our words will lack integrity and authenticity. Tricky deal, even when just playing mommy at home. I hope everyone appreciated the 'playing mommy', I am trying to think like Andrew as his way seems more fun. He is always so joyful. He wakes up wanting to 'play school'. I am glad they enjoy home preschool so much it is like play.

Who has done something messy and tactile stimulating with their kids this week? We made homemade noodles for the chicken noodles soup yesterday, that was fun. As I cleaned the dried putty, I mean dough, off the bathroom sink today I was smiling remembering the good time we had. I am noticing that when my kids are engrossed in an activity that is engaging their senses so vigorisly, they are so focused and can verbalize and cognitively reason through things. We did some role playing and I loved how while they worked their minds were processing and you could see them formulating their responses.

"What should you do if someone hits you?" Think. Think. Think. Steven's response: "It's not a good choice to hit Andrew." I try desperately not to laugh, as I muse that Andrew is the only 'someone' who would ever hit him. Andrew says, "It 's not nice to hit." Steven continues, "I would tell it hurts to hit and say sorry and forgive them." I say, "that sounds just like what Jesus says to do! You remember story about the man that wants your shirt, Jesus says give it to him, and," I am interrrupted by Andrew, "don't hit and turn the other cheek!" "That's right Andrew, you remember" and I finish the story. "Okay how about if you go outside and it's dark out, what can you do if you feel scared?" Steven says, "take a flash light." He is so serious, which makes it more fun trying to contain the laugh. "I am scared," Andrew interjects. "Remember Jew(This is how Steven said Andrew at 1, actually it was 'jew-jew')God is bigger and he says, I am with you ALWAYS," Andrew rushes in with"Matu 28sh:20." "Right and God is right here and we can always just talk to him and ask him to help us not be scared."

They are remembering what we have been talking about and I hope they see it in our walk as well. I have to admit somedays, I find myself confessing to Jesus that he may not have been seen at our house in the morning. We always talk about Him, but sometimes God's love isn't bubbling out and I am sure my kids are going, where is Jesus? It's humbling to have to admit that I am wrong and ask for forgiveness from my kids, and from the Lord but it feels good all at the same time.

My last note is about that go show it comment. If you are having to profess that you are a certain way more than you are actually showing it, you need to put the words into action. Doing what is comfortable for you and easy every week isn't showing much heart. Step out love someone, not by your words but by your actions! I like what 1 Peter 1:22 says, "Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply from the heart." Maybe it's teach a Sunday School class so the preschool coordinator can attend service? Maybe it's praying for and emailing that friend that you are sick of encouraging and who can't seem to stand on her own two feet? Maybe it's telling your wife she's about to do what she rants about everyweek?

More of God's Love

Buy more interstate batteries! That is awesome. Since I have no TV, Christine is keeping me in the know....Check this out:
http://www.interstatebatteries.com/godslove/

Very Cool!

Hamsters can't fly

You may or may not have already known, BUT I assure you hamsters can't fly. Yesterday our 3 year old, Steven, was playing with his hamster. I was supervising for the first 20 minutes but then I decided he was doing such a great job, I would go wipe down the counter tops. So I wiped them down, checked on Steven and Hank(hamster), wiped off table, checked on them. Justin enters house and spends sometime with them and he gets the paint supplies ready for our fence staining project. I clean the toilet, check on them, I am cleaning the sink and I hear "Mom, Hank just died." "What?" I queried. "Hank just shut his eyes and died," Steven responded. Justin was first on the scene, he took the lifeless hamster from Steven and laid him down by his cage. "What happened son," his father asks him. Steven says, "I just threw him and he died." "Can you show mommy how you threw him?" I asked, handing him an oven mitt. For some reason he thought that meant put the oven mitt on and pick up Hank and show us again how he was thrown. "No, pretend the oven mitt is Hank, and show me how you threw him." Steven throws it in the air and it hits the ground.

I am mad beyond belief, mostly at myself but I can't believe the condemnation I want to pull out. I am praying for Grace, forgiveness for my poor judgement, grace so I don't kill my son with tongue lashings. Justin is so wonderful. He looks at me and says, 'the most important thing is the boy.' I have to leave because I am so saddened at how upset I am and though it was mostly at myself, I wanted to take it out on my 3 year old.

Hank is moving now and seems to be stunned but okay, so Justin puts him in the cage and takes the boys to the couch. He talks about God giving us responsibility over the animals and how we are to take care of our pets. He talks about how big daddy is and how daddy is stronger than them and they are WAY stronger than Hank and about how they have to be gentle and kind. They pray for Hank to be healed and Steven prays, "God I am sorry I hurt Hank. I love you Jesus. Please heal Hank." Justin wraps up the prayer. I am in tears listening to my son who understands to be thankful for Jesus because he came here to release us from our transgressions and knows Jesus has the power to heal.

Steven knows first hand about Jesus's miraculous healing power, his fire ant bites went from 20 plus( I stopped counting at 20) to only 2 being found on his whole body at the hospital. We prayed from the moment I hung up the phone with my friend Kelly(whose son is very allergic to fire ants)until she arrived. I am confident that Jesus healed Steven's bites and I am thankful for his healing mercies.

The hamster is doing just fine. We are waiting a few days to handle him but it seems he was knocked unconsious. Every prayer Steven has asked for healing today, so I know it's on his heart. I pray that he knows Grace, AKA Jesus and walks with him. I am thankful for my wonderful husband and his loving way with the boys, I praise God for the balance he has provided me in my mate.

Coming back to the heart of Worship

You know I have heard 'our lives are our offering', and never thought a lot about it. I thought because I did a lot of good things, I was offering good things for God but I don't think that is the accurate picture of worship. It is in honoring and glorifying of God by gratefully offering back to him all the good gifts, and all the knowledge of his greatness and graciousness, that he has given. It involves praising him for what he is, thanking him for what he has done, desiring him to get himself more glory by further acts of mercy, judgment, and power, and trusting him with our concern for our own and others’ future well-being and so much more!

My evaluation of my worship came after I read The Shack, check out the website at: http://theshackbook.com/ The author does an amazing job of depcting God's love, and the whole idea of God and the trinity so beautifully. Read it! Even if you are a nonbeliever read it, I think you will find it as beautiful as a believer. I believe I had a lot of things wrong! Like God only loves me when I am doing right, reality is I am rarely right so I was missing out that God loved me IN SPITE OF MYSELF. The book is fiction but does make you think stop and think about what we make God out to be like.

The more God shows me, the more I see how little I worshiped him when I could have or should be. Why do learn to read? To read God's word, that is the purpose of reading, sure their are other benefits of being a reader but it's main purpose is to equip you for life with the armor of God. You have the handbook of the universe in your home that shows you how to love, raise your kids, handle conflict, appologize, and have good moral character. So to know how to read and not be dilegently reading his word is selling God short of worship. Reading about love in the Bible and learning that it's a choice(not always a feeling, though emotion is involved) and loving our creator back, showing that same love to others is another form of worship.

How we eat and care for our bodies is a form or worship. God gave me a new pair of glasses over the past 30 days and let me put the old ones on so you can see how I had been seeing. 'I need to loose weight, I don't look good, I can't have sex looking like this, This is gross'...had enough? I have, I want to throw those glasses away but through that perscription I also saw some good things and perhaps I will need that correction later to remember the good things or bad. Through the new pair I see: 'I am created to glorify God with my very existance. I take care of my body because God made me, I am his, to do other wise is not edifing him. He loves me right now even if I am not a super model. Through obiedience he will remove what isn't supposed to be here and glory to him!"

And so I will end my post with the chorus from Michael W. Smith's Heart of Worship

I'm coming back to the heart of worship

And it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing I've made it

When it's all about You,

It's all about You, Jesus

I'm Encouraged!

God is purposeful, I can't ignore. I won't ignore and I won't write Him off. Our lives EVERY step, EVERY thing is meant to be purposefully lived. I choose God's purpose, don't worry I am not claiming he has shown me the plan BUT he does guide me. I don't know where I am going but I am glad to go when God has commanded my step. It is 11:54 when I am typing this I read philippians 3:12-14 and I want to proclaim, "Press On Dear ones!" Read it, it's beautiful!

Monday: I am doing some of my regular house stuff at home. I do 1 load a day wash, folded, put away (Thanks Amanada Renolds, who told me that one when I first moved here 2 years ago) and I see the sock basket and a thought comes to me, wow that basket has a lot of socks in there, I should mate them. But I don't. 2 hours later Christine calls and we are chatting, she is doing laundry and I think of the socks again but again do nothing. Later in the afternoon Steven wants to put on his red Thomas shirt, I had washed it and I yet again am faced with the socks.

Tuesday morning : My sweet husband comes down, and says "ahh this is my last pair of socks, where are all the socks."(He didn't say this annoyed or mean just stating facts) I heard "you don't do your job well, what have you been doing" Inside my body I am upset and just wanting to burst out with anger and hostility and so I pray. When Justin comes back down I say, "I am sorry you are out of socks, could you just be encouraging to me." (No hostility, I was just letting him know I was feeling wounded, though Jesus had already dissipated the anger.

So I feel like the Holy Spirit was telling me to fold the socks, God loves us so much he didn't want me to have those feelings of rejection. He wanted to save my heart and Justin's of the pain of an argument over dumb stuff and even though I didn't follow the Spirits guidance(this time) he still resolved the situation.

Tuesday evening: I blogged about being distracted.

Wednesday message at Shiloh: Come home to your calling, what's distracting you? See God is always working! ALWAYS!

Beautiful message Mrs Cherry! Just what God wanted me to hear.

Yesterday I asked what are some of your distractions. Today I am asking, what are you doing about them?

PS you tell me yours and I will tell you mine:) Love you all!

Too many commitments=Distracted Wife & Mother

I have been trying to tone down the number of commitments in my life. All the running around, though usually all fun, good things with GREAT people really take a tole on my God given duties. Though I seemed to enjoy the time out and about and always doing things, it was still leaving me empty at the end of the day. My prayers have been to help me see your footprints, Oh God, give me ways to be a better Wife and Mother and I felt God say "slow down". How did God say that? He's been communicating through my husband, my children and my friend, Heike. Things haven't been running so wonderfully here, we have had serious behavior issues with our oldest son and have been getting ready to get some professional help but Jesus, the Great Physician has already been helping us through. Through my obiedience life just keeps getting better, more satisfaction. Just the changes of lessening commitments and focusing on God and his leading footprints have made a HUGE impact. Instead of coming home to stress cavern(I would walk in the door the clutter and mess would throw me in to perfection sickness, I was always appologizing for the mess) NOW I walk in to my tent(which I love tents..camping!!) and it is cozy and beckoning me in. So now I guess the challenge is replacing God with the habbits. The saying 'old habbits die hard' wasn't just a fluke saying BUT the difference this time for me is, though I am open to the change, I am not making the change I really feel like God is. So instead of picking up the phone to meet someone or do something, I pray first. God lead where I should go now.

What is distracting you from where God wants you to go? I am out of time, right now but I do want to know. Love you!

Praying for Wisdom

NObama 08
So, I have been talking to Justin and God a lot about the subject of politics, especially that of the presidential campaign. Since we haven't had cable for about a year and I rarely make time to get on internet and check in with current events, I have been doing a poor job of educating myself about the canidates, BUT I do know the God of the universe and he knows the canidates and their hearts. I will continue to pray for the canidates and our government, I will pray that the Holy Spirit leads me to informed, TRUE information and I will vote! What are you doing?

He has taken my hand...and all I can say is His Love endures forever!

It was a rough last week, but worth every trying minute. He has begun a good work in me and has promised to complete it when I see Jesus. Thank you Jesus, keep working in me, stay with me for with out you I am wrong.


So here is a brief synapses of what happened this past week: Andrew fell in the pool and wasn't seen, God's LOVE compelled me to thanksgiving and praise(on my knees, on my face, if you have ever been compelled you know the deep emotion running through you), God tells me to apologize for lying, I obey, Steven is bitten severely(more than 20 bites) by fire ants and has an anaphylactic reaction, 911 is called and he goes to Dell Children's hospital, Andrew runs high fever for 3 days, Steven started running high temp during Andrews second day...

I gave apologies to those in my life group, I still have one to speak with and will do so when he returns. I lied. The lie glorified ME, made me look better or so my flesh said. No one would know but my God knows and what should have been his shinning moment, I stole. God loves me and has been preparing my heart for about 2 months for what he asked me to do and what he showed me about myself. It a beautiful thing when you are called by God to do something and then to see how his hand has been guiding you for months getting you ready for what he has told you to do. Its humbling to know he loves me so much and he cares so much and it makes me want to live better.

I have been praying for over a year for God to humble me, work on me and he is and as I said earlier, it's not easy. It hurts and it's hard and I pray that he continues. For pride is poisonous and full of deceit, and I pray Jesus will smash it. Empty me, so I can be a polished vessel of the holy, and living Spirit of God. I pray that others will know that I belong to Him from the light that shines within my heart. The best thing that has happened over the past year is that my mind is constantly on Him, I think about myself less, the more focused I am on the price Jesus paid for me, the more my thoughts are of Him. I hate the sin that lives with me and in me. I am compelled to say thank you Him for taking my place. His loves compels me.

My new favorite song that I could play all day long is Ruin Me by Jeff Johnson. I sing and weep because my heart longs to be his heart. I am on a long walk with Jesus, he is helping me cut the bindings from my limbs. A while back, I spoke about the condemnation I put myself and family through. In searching to understand His grace, I found this message from John 15:1-17 very moving. The depth of that passage and all the ways it has spoken to me and all the meanings there are MIND blowing. God BLOWS me away!


I am so blown away I know this next piece is going to be confusing, but I will try to organize it the best I can.
I have been struggling with weight for a number of years now and without Jesus, I will continue to struggle. Add Jesus to the equation and he will remove what isn't supposed to be here and by his grace I am allowed to be me. He doesn't love me less because of this weakness, it's in this weakness He is made strong.

I am mesmerized by the whole piece(back to John 15) right now and am having a difficult time organizing my thoughts to be able to convey my thoughts. In John 15 Jesus talks about vines and I was reading about grafting of plants on Wikipedia:) There is a message if what is to come there(Crucifixion) and also just grafting in general what it does. When a branch is grafted to a vine a cut is made and the branch is pushed into the vine, so that the sap can flow to the branch and the two continue to grow together until they are fused. Jesus has telling of himself, yet again letting us know he is the only way to God. He knew he would be pierced and blood would have to flow into us for us to have eternal life. We would have to be fused with him. Wikipedia said that grafting makes plants stronger, bear plentiful and superior fruits, maintain consistency, curiosities(you want people to wonder what's different about you), repair, hardiness, I find the whole passage refreshing and SO beautiful. God is Love, he loves me and wants me to have a relationship and I am so glad.

I want to end this blog with this quote from Jerry Bridges, was president of the Navigators:“Preach the gospel to yourself, you continually face up to your own sinfulness and then flee to Jesus through faith in His shed blood and righteous life.”

Blessed...Thank you God!

Last night we(Steven, Andrew and myself) were swimming with some friends. Pool break came and we exited to have some dinner during break. After the break had resumed, both of my boys were done eating, I was visiting with a friend and not done eating.

Steven went into the pool, he was not wearing his swim arms(floaties, water wings) neither was Andrew but he wasn't in the water. I had asked them both if they wanted their wings on and both declined. The water is 2 feet high in the shallow end. Andrew wanted to jump in and I was encouraging him to(though I am not in the water) and I was aware I would have to go because he still panics when he falls under the water, and he may not be able to get his bearings. I have been trying to get him to put his feet under him when he goes under but he usually panics. He wasn't going to jump into the pool but had dropped his superman diver in the water and was bending over and trying to get it. Him falling in was inevitable. I knew this. When I looked away to answer Christine(my friend) and looked back he had fallen in. He was less then 5 feet from the 2 lifeguards at the pool but they did not see. As I was running(I was about 15 feet away at our table) to jump in the pool I said to the lifeguards, " are you guys watching?"

When I pulled Andrew from the pool, he took a breath, didn't act freaked out. As, I was praying and stayed calm. He had held his breath, no sputters, no choking sounds, just blinking and breathing. I praised God and thanked him for his mercy on us. I prayed with Andrew. I just felt compelled to keep giving thanks. Last night when I was putting them to bed, I asked them to thank God for something. Andrew said, "thank you for my blessing." Andrew has heard it so often in the past 2 hours, I guess he knew it was important.

I was praising and giving thanks on my face this am. His spirit is alive and burning inside me this morning. He has shown me a situation to go and ask forgiveness for and His spirit and my flesh wrestle. I know the peace will come and I will do as God's has asked for I love Him and He is to good to a wicked sinner like me.

I come to your altar, O Lord, singing a song of thanksgiving and telling of all your wonders. I love your sanctuary, Lord,the place where your glorious presence dwells.(Psalm 26: 6-8 )

Amazing Grace

Lessons learned:

Jesus came to release us from the old Law (first 5 books in the old testament). We are saved through grace, not because of anything we have or haven't done but because God loved us so much and he knew we needed a Savior. We needed saving from Sin. He knew that Sin was to great for us so Jesus came and dealt with sin, he died with sin clutched tighlty to his body and killed it's power over us. If you have accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior you are a new creature in Christ. Sin has lost it's power, death has lost it's sting! (marvelous light)

I grew up catholic and relied on what I did and how I performed for God but always I fell short. Thus a vicious cycle began, I felt because I loved the Lord so much, why then did I fall on my face, and I would shy away from Him because I was ashamed(and doubted his love) and then I was more inclined to walk by my flesh thus never recieving God's grace. Even now as I type I stuggle with accepting that. I live by rules, my family lives by rules(most unpronounced to them) and there is condemnation when life isn't by the rule, But that means I am living by old law and it is causing conflict in my spiritual walk. I hear God saying, "How much more must I do, to say I love you?" If God never blesses me in anyway ever again, he has already given me eternal life what more must he do, to show his love?

No matter what I have done or how I have sinned, I am special and can have a relationship and closeness with Jesus, without the condemnation. I can fellowship with Him, live with Him, and be filled with His Spirit. I follow and obey Him, not in order to gain is love and favor, but because I love Him and desire to follow and obey Him.

The more I OBEY him, the more his heart is revealed to me and when I keep his commandments it functions as a compass telling me when I am off the path and walking by flesh. I have walked where Christ has told me to, so why then do I slink back into sin and get off course? I relate this to working out, that high one gets from running, like after you have gone a mile or 2 and you reach your second wind and it's easy, you feel like you can run forever. The more you run the easier it is to get into that zone. Then you get hurt and can't run for a while, why does it take so long, for me to get back into it even know I know how good it feels to be able to run like that? Sometimes I stay in a sin for so long and know it isn't fulfilling or satisfing but yet I find myself there again. I think Paul says it best in Romans

Romans 7:15-25 NIV
15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

God has shown me so much in the past 8 weeks, I can't express. His Grace BLOWs me away. By God's grace he has brought me into understanding some things, he has helped me to be aware of the condemnation I put myself through and he is saying, "I have already set you free. I love you the way you are."

Right now we live in that inbetween time, between the death of sin and God's final victory. I know I will fall short daily but I am looking forward to a time when there is no evil and no sin. Pray for me as I try cloaking in the Grace of God and accepting that Jesus paid the price, no need for condemnation any longer.

Blog Hijacking

So, Nicole gave me her password so I could put up her fun new header...and well I decided to hijack it and post some pictures I have. Enjoy.

-Stephanie Cherry

How they typically dress.

The most awesome people they know.

Steven pulling Laomai.

Pray for us dear ones

Justin and I could use prayer. Please pray for us and our family. We really appreciate you ralling for us. God will hear the cries and we thank you for the help!

Change it or forget about it!

If it is true what they say about you - do something about it. If it is not true, forget it! -Croft M Pentz
Why do we wrap so much of ourselves in what others think, why do others think they know our hearts and motives? Why when we hurt do we want fairness and justice? God loves justice, certainly but he's forgiving, too. Sometimes we forget that they go together, sometimes we just are so glad 'they got theirs,' or are still waiting for them 'to get theirs,' that we have forgotten to forgive. And we end up being the ones suffering the whole time, an injustice we put ourselves through. I spent time in this bondage and it's horrible. It made me ugly and to those that loved on me during this time, thank God for your encouragement. Thank you for not turning your backs on the monster I had become.

There is good and bad in all of us, we are all precious as we are. I'm glad that God will convict us when we are wrong and teach us, and I'm glad that his forgiveness come quickly and his love is so strong, I am blown away.

I was reading n Hosea today, chapter 11 to be exact. God's love is great, greater than I can even grasp, mind blowing depth. I cried at how much MY sin devastates him, I wish all the black parts of my heart were cut out, never to grow again. How can he forgive me after all I have done? It is more than I can understand or grasp but I feel called to try my best to extend that forgiveness to others. I know my best, isn't even close so I pray that the Holy Spirit will help me extend that grace to others.

My heart was hurt so badly then, I wasn't even letting God in to heal it. I had to keep it bound and let it hurt so I could remember the injustices done to me and in the end I suffered. I am sure God was heart sick, wanting to help me heal and desperately wanting me to forgive so I could move on.

You cannot build your mansion in heaven with mud you throw at others. -Croft M Pentz
Don't let what others have done or do to you, get in the way of the grace God extends you. Don't get caught in the trap of "do unto others as they do unto you." REMEMBER, it's is really do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Take those hurts to God, not to your friends, that is a lie the evil one feeds us, 'you have to tell someone.' If you are telling God, you have told more than someone, you have told the God of the universe and he can do something about it!

Tattletale to God...it's okay and RIGHT!

So at Bible study this past week, someone said to tattle to God. I really liked it and it seems like a great idea so I started. I just out and out whine to him. Sadly, I have learned something VERY scary about myself and for the record, I DON'T like it. I would rather call my aunt Sue or my friend and tell them what I am supposed to be tattling to God. I suppose in some sick way I think it makes me look better but it doesn't. It trashes the other person, who may have had something horrible going one, or didn't mean at all what I thought was meant by their actions and words and to top it off, lets everyone listening to me trashing that person know that I may in due time do it to them. I say 'trashing' because when you only show the negative side of others, I think that is trashing. My husband is a good man, if we have a conflict and I call my friend to share how badly he acted on one isolated occaision and she hasn't been around us to know him, I have tainted her opinion and thoughts about my husband. His goodness may not ever be able to be seen by her and I am sad just at the thought of that. I need to repent of many times I was unrighteous in this area, and I pray that others who are hearing the trashing/gossiping that we sometimes engage in will stop it by encouraging prayer at that moment. Pray for healing the hurts, letting the spirit guide our tounges and the other person, lift them up to the heavens so God will hear and help.

The bible gives clear rules on how to deal with conflict. Check out Matthew 18:15-20
A Brother Who Sins Against You
15"If your brother sins against you,[a] go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.'[b] 17If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18"I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be[c]bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[d] loosed in heaven.
19"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Here is my resolution, now it's on the web for all to see and hold me accountable to.
So until I am ready to go to the person I am upset with, I will stick with tattling to God and LISTEN as he will speak to me and counsel me. I won't gossip(it can become that, especially sice we can't know anothers heart) or slander others, I will forgive and lovc. I love how easy it seems right now. I really think it is an ugly attribute and I want to change...pray for me. Encourage me.

I just read this quote and I think it is awesome! "You cannot build your mansion in heaven with mud you throw at others." -Croft M Pentz

BUY Literature written by those abiding in Christ....

Hey I needed to get up on my soap box and say(to all my book junkies out there) support the Christian authors of this world! There are so many and they are truely amazing! They write everything from mysteries, to love stories and even daily devotionals. Here are a few of my favorites:

Stephanie Cherry's Patina -Great daily wash in the word, bits to chew and savor. Love it! 40 daily glimpse of God and all his splendor.
www.stephaniecherry.com

Tricia Goyer-I really dig the Shadow of Treason Series(Historical Fiction) 3 book series. I enjoyed the twists ans turns and learning about the Spanish Civil War, which I never knew existed. I also love her GeX parenting and marriage books. I relate to the 80s music themes:)
http://www.triciagoyer.com/

Susan May Warren writes some fun romance novels and others(though I have only the romance ones) I enoyed the heart warming stories of Josie.
http://www.susanmaywarren.com/

Lisa Tawn Bergen She has a delightful childrens books series called God gave us. The stories are endearing and my boys love the story and the illustrations...These are some of our favorites.
http://www.lisatawnbergren.com/

Justin's Pick:
Ed Dunlops The terrestria Chonicles. He says he can't wait for the boys and he to enjoy them together. In this series the reader catches a glimpse of the almighty power of the King emmanuel and the wondrous future that awaits his children in the Golden City. It is meant for ages 10 and up! Justin read all 7 boom, boom, boom! http://www.dunlopministries.com/

Faith Driven Family by Voddie Baucham Jr very inspiring to see the truth told and so bold! May this book bless your the way it is ours...http://www.familydrivenfaith.org/Home.html

This a short list. I am beat and there are SO many to choose from. From God all Good things come...Psalm 1. I believe whole heartidly that buying books written by those who are striving to walk with God and fulfill his calling in their life, you will read richer material and be entertained and feel the presence of God and walk away feeling good about what you read(whether it for enjoyment or information) and you will be satisfied knowing you are helping God's people. You are helping to support their families and their missions. The more we encourage Christian authors to write by purchasing, the more Glory God gets....and praise be to the the king!

The shame of it

Don't you hate it when you know what you should be doing , and what to do but don't? Okay so maybe that's only me...continulously! The lousy thing is right now my quiet time with the Lord is getting jilted and I need to take it back!

One thing I notice in the abscense of my quiet time is my black, black heart is wicked and how much I need the mercy and grace of Jesus and his truth to wash over me and cloak me. I am a very good sinner as most of you know. The real actualization God has given me in the abscene of quiet time is that I actually don't feel as secure in anything, having those guidleines or plumb lines(Justin will like that) is actually a better feeling. Sure sometimes they are uncomfortable and as the Holy Spirit reveals more and I gain more understanding the less uncomfortable those truths feel. The world can get more uncomforable and I feel a bit feakish even now as I write. WithoutGod's truth you wrap yourself in the worldly lies and CAUTION dear ones, how deceitful and easy to convince ourselves that the lie is really okay.

Our life group is reading, Faith Driven Family by Voddie. It has been a challenge for Justin and I and has given us many bits to chew, try to swallow and chew some more. Each chapter and even sometimes page after page I am convicted(just when I thought I may be good too!) My point in throwing this in here is, our kids do better when they have guidelines and consistancy. Don't let the world tell you it's to harsh to: say no, not buy every toy they want, to spank . You are doing your kids a favor whne they are walking between the lines. The bible puts things in black and white, we see the grey and those are the lies of the world. The world has greyed things up but I believe with all my heart that the Bible sets easy to follow guidelines that everyone can read and understand. If I am learning anything at all, it's I am going to be saving a LOT of money on book buying. I have the number 1 best seller for all the life situations right here beside me, well it's probably not the best seller and that really is the shame of it. Run out get yourself a Bible if you don't have one and if you do start using it! It has the answers to life in it, so now I should practice what I preach and take 10 minutes just me and God to catch up. His love be on you!

Write it down Right Now!

How many times have you told someone that you would pray for them, but didn't write it down and in turn forgot to actually pray specifically for them? Well I am guilty on all counts. I have thrown up the, "And God, please remember those people whom I pledged prayer but can't actually remember who and for what. Just work in thier lives, Father so they see you and love you." I want to encourage you to do better than this! Allow God to work in amazing ways for you and through you and how you might be asking, pray for it!

Get something to write in that is compact enough you can always have it with you. When you tell someone you would like to prayer for their situation or need, write it down so you can focus your prayer. When someone asks you for prayer, write it down so that you can remember their specific needs and lift them up to God. Make it part of your daily prayer time and create a habbit of lifting someone up while waiting at the drive thru for your coffee or other times where their is spare moments(could become the most meaningful bowel movements you have had:))

I remember learning that when some people say, "I will pray for you," they actually mean they are going to ask God on my behalf about a specific situation, and not just some random, 'and bless all my friends, help them find the strengths in their struggles(which I think is better than no prayer at all).' It happend two Octobers ago. I was telling the women in Bible study, that we needed prayer for our home to sell in SD, all these women whipped out paper, journals, pens and sticky notes to write down my request. They were all committed to my prevailing prayer. The Women's bible study ladies even included it in our opening and closing prayer each week, reminding me that my request was on their hearts and minds and they were lifting us up. I remember being a bit awstruct at the whole idea that people were repeatidly praying for our needs. It wasn't just something someone said, they would open their journals and remember me each time they prayed. God heard our names so much, he mercifully delivered us from that house and our prayer was answered.

Before October two years ago, I often told people, 'you are in my thoughts and prayers' but what that really translated to was, "God bless all my friends and family I am praying for, you know their hearts and needs, please help them." But now I sincerely try to remember by writing down others needs and lifting them up daily. My new problem is when do you stop praying for someone? Well when it prevails and God answers like Heather Linde's pregnancy!!! Now I will switch gears and pray for healthy pregnancy and delivery!

I must praise God for the many blessings he has given me. I notice a difference in my connection with the spirit. My relationship and my need for God has deepened and I feel him speak to me more readily or is it that I am listening? I think he and I have grown to be wonderful friends these past two years and most of that is because of prayer. It doesn't feel dutiful but delightful to have the maker of all things console me, laugh with me, speak to me and validate me. Paul says, in 1 Thessolonians 5:17 to pray without ceasing. I get that now. I used to think how could you do that? Well instead of reading the tabloids, pray for those people on the covers, intercede for them and allow God to do amazing works. Instead of gossiping, ask to offer prayer up for those who are struggling and having diffidculties(Matt 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.") WE should bite our tounges instead of letting it bite others. You might feel weird in the beginning but the holy spirit is there and there is no feeling better than that of worshipping the Lord. Praise God for all that you see, thank him for the beautiful trees, flowers and buildings. I often talk to God(prayer) outloud so my kids can hear and I try to openly model my thoughts, and it works! Leaving bible study a few weeks ago, Steven offered up, "Hey! look at that squirrel in the tree! thank you God for the trees." I added, "yes, God than you for the beautiful trees and my beautiful boys!" Amen

Last weekend, Justin and I prayed together about a specific situation that I was feeling much anguist and saddness over, with in 15 minutes God answered that specific prayer with a specific answer!

God bless the intercessors of this world, for they are amazing! They devote hours a day to praying for needs of others, both those they have been asked to pray for and those they haven't(which I believe is the coolest thing ever!) In the book of Nehemiah it talks about how he,Nehemiah, identified the people's sins and prayed prayers of repentance for the people, asking for the Lords mercy and forgivenesss all without being asked. Even cooler is what happens, check it out in your Bible!