Looking up or looking down?

I find when my eyes are directed up towards heaven bound all is clear. When I am looking down and all around I feel dazed and confused and slightly worse is when you are only looking at yourself. That is a hard pill to swallow when you realize your eyes are only on yourself, depression can do that when you take your armour off. What a fight the last month of pregnancy was for me. Shuting every door to everyone, even God and then asking God to speak as if I were listening. So selfish, so not where I wanted to be. More refreshing was to know my husband was holding on tight to Jesus and calling to him, interceding on my behalf. That is beautiful now that I am feeling better. I am thankful for Justin, so thankful to have him to walk this life through.

I had someone speak something very ugly, very horrible to me. I had a choice to follow my flesh or follow Jesus. Speaking about turning the other cheek and turning the other cheek are two different things. If you thought you turned your cheek and then told everyone you know about how bad you were wronged, I believe you didnt turn the other cheek. I had committed at that moment to do as Jesus commands us to do and don't think even for a minute it was easy. At every encounter that day and the next few, I wanted to get a poor me tap but instead I prayed and asked for strength.

After some prayer and washing in god's word, I realized something, the words that were so wounding, were not far from the truth and I needed to see that and hear it. I need to make a change, pick up and get on with life, I am ineffective if I stay in this mess of depression and this season passed time for a change. Please be in prayer for me as I await the king's orders. Love you.